A Kinder World

Chapter 1 - A Corner of my World

Disclaimer: this story features many sensitive topics including abuse, mentions of drugs, suicide etc. viewer discretion is advised.

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There is always that one place,
the place you go to forget everything, to lock everyone out.
     The door handle belonging to the dark room rattled violently and a slurred drunken voice was raised from the other side,

"Hey! Open the f*cking door!"

Or maybe it's a place to lock yourself away,

"I SAID OPEN THE DOOR YOU BRAT!"

I gave no answer to his shouting, curled in a ball at the corner of my room, I closed my eyes trying to block it all out.

The door continued to rattle, creaking in a desperate plea as it barely held on to its hinges.
    And behind it I heard the familiar sound of heels clicking and that sickly sweet voice that belonged to them,

"Oh come on honey don't mind her, why don't you spend some time with me instead?~"

There was a short pause of contemplation,
before he directed his attention back to me

"Don't you dare think you're off the hook, I'll be back!"

A large smash of a broken bottle sounded from the other side of the door followed by his heavy drunken footsteps, a small reassurance.

"Anemone!
Get your act together already, you're messing everything up for me!"

You would think the voice of a mother would be caring, the kind you imagine singing you to sleep, but I have never managed to find any love or concern in her voice. And as I heard her step away from the door I curled further into myself in hope of a little comfort the kind she would never give.
     That place... this place, the one I keep talking about... it's like your own world, a little kingdom that keeps you safe and that's kept me alive and moderately sane, but sometimes those people get in...
And then I truly have nowhere left to hide.

I don't know how long my family has been so broken, when you are a child you look at the world with rose tinted glasses, ignorant of the thorns stuck in your side.
     But I know 11 years ago, that's when the glasses finally shattered and those thorns had grown to vines that I found myself endlessly entangled in. It was then that my father finally snapped.

At the time I didn't understand, but my mother had been cheating for years and with my father gone she flitted from one lover to the next, promising each one the world and leaving after finding out they could not fulfil her own worldly desires.
     However, a year ago she found someone who could pay for her "expenses".
     Up until a year ago I used to feel safe with that door unlocked, now I avoid it like the plague.

I slowly got up from the floor, wincing in pain from the fresh wounds covering my body. Grabbing a tattered jumper that fit slightly tight around my wrists, I looked at that door once more, because every night I had one chance to leave. While they were "busy".
     I don't know what made me choose tonight, it wasn't conviction, maybe it was just pure desperation, but I was willing to give this world one last chance...

The door clicked open, mercifully quietly. I got out to the main room where I caught a glimpse of my mother and her boyfriend, closer than I would've liked...
     I managed to quietly sneak to the front door, finding shoes I hadn't worn in years with large holes in their soles, and as I was just about to leave, I heard a breathless conversation between my mother and her fling,

"Babe? What's wrong?"

He sighed and talked in a sort of mocking tone, brushing her lips teasingly.

"You know it's such a shame you had that brat, without her you would have been so perfect~"