build me up. (ON HOLD)

ONE

chapter one.
a strange encounter
September 5th

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FALL HAD FINALLY COME AFTER A STRANGE, BIPOLAR SUMMER. The leaves were turning and falling off trees, the grass was becoming shriveled and paler, and the air became drier. The breeze was cooler than normal, and the sun seemed like a heater on the back of my neck.

I was walking to my next class of the day. Music blared through my single AirPod that I managed to keep track of. It was my saving grace when walking to and from classes; without it, I'd get too lost in thought and forget where I was.

Lately, it seems the effects of life's quarrels are finally catching up with me. From the inability to wake up on time in the morning to failing small and easy quizzes for a class, I was beginning to hit rock bottom.

For a psychology student, many would assume I'd have my shit together. Some may even assume would know how to cope and heal from traumas or hardship and have the ability to move forward and strive for strength and positivity. However, the grim reality is that we all experience life's difficulties, and we all have to fight our way through them.

And for me, this was the real test of my determination and will.

I needed to finish this degree, and if it meant blasting Cleo Soul or Kendrick Lamar at 6:00 am and binge-playing The Sims to decompress, I was going to do it. My life goals could not stop even if it meant moving the goalpost further away from me.

As I walked, "Try and You Try" serenaded me. It was a raw song, simply expressing the idea of fighting through the day or through a hard time, exactly what I needed.

As I neared closer to the building where my class was, the sun receded behind the clouds, and the breeze got colder. The coolness seeped through the small openings of my black crocheted sweater, pinching the exposed skin. A shiver went down my spine as I picked up my pace and folded my arms at my chest to stay warm.

It was going to take a while for me to get used to the change in weather, but I sure did love this time of the year.

Looking forward, there were a few people in front of me as I was only a few yards away from the building. It was quite busy on campus as midterms had begun, and the influx of people was almost astonishing.

The parking lots were usually bare compared to today. There were parking jams with people honking their horns and others hurriedly trying to find the newest spot available. Luckily for me, I parked at the gym, saving me energy.

As I continued walking, I looked to my left, catching the eyes of a man who was sitting in his parked car. When I looked over, he had looked up, and our eyes met for what seemed like forever.

For some reason, I peered longer than usual, almost as if my brain couldn't process who it was. I was sure I had seen this person before, but before I could allow myself a second to think of it, I shot him a quick smile and nodded before peeling my eyes away from him.

I was slightly embarrassed by the interaction, but it's a typical interaction that happens on campus all the time.

Maybe it's that random girl in your class you forgot the name of or an old classmate from high school you hadn't seen in a while. But there's the unfortunate interaction where it's someone you don't know, and you hold a long, intense stare with them. For me, I respond by smiling and feeling confident, while on the inside, I'm burning from awkwardness.

It's quite a strange encounter.

I couldn't even tell you what the man looked like by this point, but what I knew was it felt familiar, but not enough to attribute a face or name to it.