Summer Long (gxg)

July 2 - "You leave me alone." (5)

Now everything feels like a lie.
I couldn't get that out my head.

"I have to hurry." Joe told me as he tossed his clothes into his suitcase.
We were now in our room.
"It's barely 10 a.m." I pointed out with a sigh.
"Yeah, but it's already late." He replied.
"You need to tell me something..." I whispered as I stared helplessly at him.
"You had already booked everything without even asking me, didn't you?" I shuddered and closed my hands in a fist as I said that supposition.

Joe stopped and stared at me out of the corner of his eye, then he took my hand and squeezed it.
"Yes, but I swear... I would have canceled everything if you didn't agree. Don't get angry, baby." He justified himself.
I didn't believe him.
He wasn't going to cancel it.
I knew him.
"I am already disappointed." I sentenced.
He should have figured it out already.

He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead.
"I'll make it up to you, I promise... but there're only a few days left and then we'll be together forever."
He squeezed my hands even harder and smiled at me affably.

"This was supposed to be our vacation..." I scolded him and moved my gaze to an indefinite point just to not burst into tears.
"I know. But it's only three days."
He repeated.
My heart clenched.
"You should have told me, at least, you know how much I hate surprises."
I emphasized the word "surprises" because this was not a surprise at all.

"Ellie, it's still our week, remember? Our summer." Joe told me, confident about his words.
His tan skin matched his blue eyes and that mischievous smile on his face.

Yeah, he could've done this this little trip when he wanted to.
But not now.
Not now during our wedding trip.
Not now in the most important week of our lives... when I need him most.
But I didn't tell him.
I just stayed there: helpless and ignoring this big lump in my throat.

I sighed: "What am I going to do? I'm alone. You leave me alone."
"No." He told me walking away again to put something in his suitcase.

"Bella will stay here too, you won't be alone." He affirmed.

I became even more nervous.
" I don't know her at all and the point is... I don't want to know her!" I exclaimed.
My face turned gray.
I had lost my patience and all those good intentions.

Joe picked up the suitecase and let it fall to the ground, ignoring my words.
"I think that... it will be good for you to bond with her, even though you two have different personalities, I guess..." He said.
As he spoke those words he was not at all convinced.
His cold eyes stared at me earnestly.

I sighed , inhaled air and I sat down exhausted in the chair in the room.
I feel terrible.
"You don't understand..." I whispered, almost crying.
"Enjoy these days, baby , you need to relax, too..." He told me as he took something out of his pocket: two tickets, I believe.
He sat down, kneeling at my height.
"Take these..."
"What?" I asked desperately.
"For you and Bella. Leo and I have booked a small boat for these days with which you can relax and cruise around the island."

Joe would leave me, but at the same time he had carefully prepared everything so that his absence would weigh less.
But I couldn't care about that boat...
Neither of all the gifts that would come later.
Joe knew very well that I was not attached to material things.
The only thing I wished was his presence.

"You still don't understand..." I whispered.
I stood still, he slowly approached and hugged me but I did nothing to push him away.
I was so tired at that moment that although I wanted to yell at him everything I was feeling... I still needed a touch.
I was weak.

When I clutched his arm because I didn't want him to leave, I stared at his tattoos on his muscular forearm and thought back to when one night he explained me their meaning.
I sighed bitterly when he left me to take his suitcase.

"I'll see you in three days... take care." Joe told me, then came up to kiss me, but I moved away.
He took my arm, and squeezing to block me and managed to give me a kiss.
"Come on, Ellie..." He sighed but smiled.
I lowered my gaze and placed a hand on his shoulder in a vain attempt to block him.
"I have to go now..." He sighed and pulled away.
His blue eyes stared at me from afar.
His dark blonde hair on his forehead.
He was almost as tall as the door he would walk through.

"You'll be fine, you'll see." He repeated without showing any emotion.
We exchanged one last glance, mine was helpless, his was far too imperturbable.
He left the room closing the door, without adding anything else.

I stood there staring at nothing, then I moved to the bed, just to collapse there.
I closed my eyes and I silently screamed into the pillow to cushion the emptiness around me.
The emptiness in my heart. In my voice. In my head.
Now I was really alone. Joe was gone.
I had nothing left at that resort.

I could not quantify how much time passed, but at some point my cell phone lit up.
I read the message hiding a tear.
<< Shall we inaugurate this boat?
Ps: It's Bella, they gave me your number.>>