Hi, my name is Jamilla Hope. I'm a 20-year-old Black American; ambitious, creative, and have an extraordinary imagination.
The only thing is I don't have the drive to pursue and take on what I want in life.
I have had dreams since I was a kid to be a fashion designer but ever since I graduated high school without a scholarship or college approvals, I have somewhat given up on that dream.
But I still want to do it.. maybe, I don't know but, I want to do something with my life. I feel that every day I'm just living and not achieving, I'm just getting by and not striving.
It's like I'm in this ongoing trans; work, home, church, repeat. Oh, did I mention I have no friends? The only type of social life I have is through online games sadly. My life is not like that of an average 20-year-old; parties, traveling with friends, doing hoodrat things with hoodrat friends, etc. It's just what it is and who I am.
I was never the type to fit in, I was just the type to just be there and somehow people saw me as their friend? But it wasn't a real friendship, you know, the types where you only see your "friend" when school is in session.
But when the weekend or break comes around you don't hear from them nor get invited to their outings. Yeah, one of those. Anyway, like I was saying, I have never been a fun and wild teenager ( and yes I've been called boring and lame).
It uses to bother me that I wasn't like the other teenagers in my generation but now I learned to love who I am. But that's beside the point, the point is I have no drive, have a dead-end job, and have achieved nothing since I graduate.
Can this be life right now? Sometimes I daydream about the life I want to have; an amazing relationship with God, a good husband, a multi-million dollar fashion line, a nice home, a car, and a happy and loving family of my own. I even go far as to plan out how I can achieve this and yet I get discouraged and don't do it.
Maybe it's laziness or maybe it's hopelessness, or maybe it's just my 20 something.
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20 Something
किशोर उपन्यासJamilla Hope is a 20 year- old Black American who is ambitious, creative, and have an imagination like no other, the only problem is..well, she doesn't have the motivation to achieve her goals and aspirations in life. Could it be she lost hope? Or l...
