My name is Elijah, Eli for short and it's pronounced E-lie I live in a house full of people, 2 sisters, and 1 brother. I am the gay one out of the bunch, the oddball as my parents would call me. People label me as a macho man, a tough guy, and a Top. The type of guy you keep your girlfriends away from but in my case, boyfriends, I have a group of friends that I cherish deeply and a dog that I love to death. But I don't feel like I am being myself, shocking right, the guy who has everything going for him, being accepted for being gay, playing soccer my favorite sport, and even got my dream car that I always wanted. I feel like I'm just lying to myself living in a whole facade, what if I am not a top what if I want to be the bottom and what if everything that seems so in control is spiraling out of control. I just feel like I need someone to ground me to be in control for me.