My Secret Marriage

chapter 86

Sadhvi's pov:

After one month:

I was wondering what is happening in my life.......

Already one month passed.....I have been giving coldshoulders to Siddarth as I have decided.

It's not like I am happy now.....how can I be happy when my heart is with him.

When my heart always craves for him.....

But in an attempt to stay away from him I have stayed one week in hostel and then we got 10 days holidays as we have completed our exams.

As I haven't spend much time with mom and dad.....I mean just after that day we came to hostel,eventhough I talk with mom regularly she said she wanted to spend time with me.
At first I thought to spend 5 days with Amma and other days with mom.....but after hearing her request I couldn't decline her.
She treats me so well I don't want to make her sad...and even I am interested to go home.

Like that me and amma spend all the time with eachother.
We went to shopping.....as Amma said no one accompanies her neither Siddarth nor Priya.....she always wanted to go shopping with her children.
I smiled genuinely at that time.....she regards me as her child....not a daughter in law.
I am so lucky to have her.

Even dad complained that I was not spending time with him so we both planted a lot of sapling in the garden while gossiping about lot of things.

At first I was not much comfortable as you guys know I don't have a very good relationship with my Nanna(father).....but after sometime I am over the world and thanked God for giving them both to me.

Daily I used to cook something or the other which I saw in YouTube.....

Sometes they turn out well and sometimes they are spoiled

What ever may be the situation mom used to give me some tips and also help me in preparing.

We became even closer after my trip to home.....
I wonder how Siddarth is?

I mean is he eating on time....or he is just ignoring his health.

Though I asked mom to call him again And  again to remind him to eat.....did he listen to her.
Mom asked if there was any problems between us....but I said it's not a big one we just had an argument.....we will resolve it as soon as I go back.

Eventhough she looked like not believing my words she didn't said anything.

That ten days really went fast.

When I was going back to college mom said
"Sadhvi beta.....I know something is wrong between you both. I don't want to force you to say.....but I want you to never leave his side. I know Sid is very difficult to deal with. He never talks his feelings.....
Actually you have to blame me." And cried....
"Mom please don't cry.....I promise you I never ever thought of leaving Siddarth." I said consoling her.

She wiped her tears and looked at me
"Beta....when me and uncle are married we  still  belonged to  middle-class.
You uncle used to work day and night before he established his business.....seeing him work so hard even I went to school taking up a teacher job.
We were not financially settled when we had Siddarth.....so we used to leave him with mom and go for our works.
He used to crave for our attention which he never got as even after our works we used to rest as we will be so tired.
I thought after earning money we can give a comfortable life to Siddarth but I never thought that I will loose him in the middle of this. After Priya born we used to take care of her as she used to stick around me and Siddarth was with mom.
Eventually he stopped coming to us and continued staying with mom.....even when staying at same home it felt like we are not together. It is not his mistake.....I mean I asked for his forgiveness which he gave to me. But the little Siddarth who used to crave for mom's love is no more....
He never talks about his pain or his feelings with anyone other than Adarsh.
Adarsh was with him from his childhood he is like his brother......so I want you to be patient and wait for him to say his feelings.
You will not leave him right? I was a bad mother for him Sadhvi.....now atleast I want you to be with him...I am sure that you both will be happy together."

"Mom.....I....j love him. I can't think of leaving him.I will win his heart......you take care of your self and also dad's.ok?" I asked her.

She nodded and waved at me as I climbed the cab which dad booked.
Dad wanted to drop me but I don't want to burden him so I asked him to book a cab.

Until then I never knew that Siddarth didn't had parents love in his childhood.....I used to envy him for having mom and dad but I think he used to be very sad.....

I want to assure him that I will stay with him forever.

I think I behaves very foolishly.....

I mean I did not talked to Siddarth and also didn't have him a chance to speak.
At first I directly informed him about my stay with my friends and then came home just by sending him a text.

Will he be angry at me?
God why did I behave so immaturely.....

Whatever I should not have decided to ignore him in the first place.....
If I do such things what if he will be fed up with me and my behaviour?

And also ria was there in that postings......
Is she flirting with him?

I felt my anger raising just by the thought of this.

'you should have worried about this before....not after all your stunts.' my mind mocked me.

If that Ria comes anywhere near my Siddarth I will just have her head.

Hmphh he is my hubby....even if he don't love me he is my husband no one can deny that.
He likes me right?
What if he feels I am not good for him?

' Again Sadhvi you are over thinking all the things....' my mind rinsed me.

Yeah.....this overthinking was the only reason for me to stay away fro my husband for a month.....

I will try to talk to him as soon as I go home.
If he is angry I will try to persuade him.
Yeah Sadhvi....you can do it.
For yourself.....for Siddarth you have to do it.