Wanting Approval

Chapter Eighteen

"Hey Lewis, how was the date? Tell us everything. Was he the perfect gentleman? Did he try to make a move on you?" Callie asks through the phone excitedly. Lewis had called her and Dylan after talking to his mom about his and Blake's date. Lewis's mom had mentioned that she was proud of him for getting out of his comfort zone. If he was going to be honest, Lewis felt rather proud of himself for doing this too.

"He was a perfect gentleman, charmed my mum, held my hand and paid for everything." Lewis answers though he does roll his eyes mentioning the payments because Blake was so insistent that Lewis not pay for anything since it was Blake that had asked him on the date.

"That's amazing man! How do you feel about him, like do you want a boyfriend?" Dylan says, trying to judge how excited or helpful they need to be right now for this situation.

"He makes me feel so comfortable, i-i-i don't even know h-how to explain it but ... he has such a gent-tle way of b-being and..." Lewis says, then trails off at the end getting distracted by his own thoughts about Blake being his boyfriend.

Did he want that? Lewis can imagine himself with a boyfriend for sure, but he can also imagine himself without anxiety and having confidence. This hasn't been his focus recently so until Blake he hadn't really given it much thought whether or not he wanted a relationship. Lewis really wanted to continue working hard for his self-improvement, this meant limited distractions. However, Blake has been a positive influence, he has helped break down some walls for Lewis socially and he hasn't come in between Lewis and studies or soccer yet.

If Blake was his boyfriend they would probably have to hang out more, like go on more dates. But would that be so bad? Lewis liked spending time with Blake, he was always conscious of what Lewis was thinking or feeling. Lewis was now picturing different scenarios of them two dating. Firstly, it was just walking down the hallways in school but holding hands, then going to a movie together for another date, lastly Lewis imagined kissing Blake. As much as it made Lewis nervous, he realized he still wanted to do it. Maybe not just yet, but eventually he thinks he would want to have that sort of relationship with Blake.

"I ...um sorry, I got distracted... um I think I want Blake to be my boyfriend, yah" Lewis says over the phone to his two best friends. He already feels nervous about just admitting that to other people. If Blake backs out now he will look like a fool. Tonight's date made him feel more confident that Blake is just as committed. 

"Lewis, come on man. You have to realize how smitten Blake is for you. Please try and sound more sure that you want this." Dylan says, trying to make Lewis see that Blake is one hundred percent going to ask him to be in a relationship sooner or later.

"Ya, I agree. Firstly, you are quite the catch Lewis. Secondly, you have to be confident you want this with Blake, otherwise I don't think you should say yes. I want you to feel completely comfortable in a relationship" Callie says, forever the mature one in their group. Callie will always and forever be Lewis's reliable advice friend.

"Okay, okay, I get it! He hasn't even asked me yet though. Plus we have only been on one real date so let's not get our hopes up folks" Lewis says, trying to diffuse their discussion now before his friends (most likely Callie) takes it to the next level.

Blake had been at home discussing and dissecting the date with his sister for about thirty minutes. Then he went to his room to finish some homework before going to sleep. He has work the next morning but is already planning where to take Lewis next. Blake has come to realize that he basically fully committed to Lewis. He knows this is a high school relationship so obviously not his entire future can be imagined with Lewis, but at least the immediate future, he wants Lewis there with him. Blake gets distracted from his homework by different ideas of him and Lewis in a relationship. Like, taking Lewis to a school dance and slow dancing together or winning soccer games and getting to celebrate together. He can imagine Lewis would hug him after scoring the winning goal (this is the only way since Lewis is so good at shooting) and maybe Blake would even get to kiss him too.

This was all assuming that Lewis said yes when Blake asked him to be in a relationship. A bit of a gamble but Blake can be an optimist at times. He was in a bit of a day dream when his phone lit up with a text from Lewis saying how much fun he had and asking if he got home alright. Blake answered and said goodnight since he had to work in the morning. But he promised to talk more afterwards. 

The next day Blake wakes up and he knows Lewis won't be up for a couple more hours so he sends a cute goodmorning text message. Once again stating how he enjoyed their date and that he was looking forward to doing it again and throwing in a bit of a compliment for fun.

From Blake: Goodmorning beautiful! I had a lovely time yesterday and am looking forward to doing it again. I have a shift today but will talk to you after. PS. Let me know if I am bugging you too much :)

After Blakes long shift at the movie theatre he was finally home laying on his bed texting Lewis.

Lewis was sitting on his couch trying to finish up a project due Monday when Blake finally texted him about meeting up tomorrow for a walk and some ice cream. In theory this idea sounded lovely but ice cream made Lewis a bit uncomfortable. It was just a lot of sugar to be having all at once. They would be walking though so maybe he could burn it off.

The two boys agreed to meet each other at the park near Lewis's house tomorrow at noon for another date. Lewis couldn't stop smiling while finishing his homework. His mom was watching from the kitchen how genuinely happy Lewis looked for the first time in a while. After a while Lewis was finally done and he decided to go read his book in his favourite spot. Lewis had a nice cozy window sill he was able to sit on to read, today was especially nice since the sun was out streaming through the window into Lewis's room. He opened the window to let in a small breeze while he peacefully read until dinner was ready. Lewis also escaped back to this place once dinner was over to distract his mind of the food he had just consumed. 

Blake was sitting in his room alone again, wondering whether he should start supper. His mom was working this weekend and he was usually in charge of dinner since his sister was not a good cook and because he enjoyed it. Right as he was deciding to wait a little longer his younger sister burst into his room begging for dinner. So, that made his decision for him and he started on making some chicken and rice with some roasted broccoli. While preparing the meal he let his mind wander and kept coming back to Lewis's eating habits. Blake had noticed that he was getting a little better at eating at regular times, like sometimes he would have a normal lunch or when they were spending time together he would eat the snacks. But Lewis still was really small. Blake has never seen Lewis in clothing that wasn't baggy so he isn't sure how skinny he really is but his wrists and face are rather boney. Blake would be worried if Lewis didn't have the amount of energy he does. He is still capable of being the best soccer player on the team and a great student. This positive aspect is not going to stop Blake from trying to feed Lewis just a bit more, maybe just encouraging him when Lewis seems a bit hesitant about eating something. Blake decided that he was going to look up ways to support someone with an eating disorder just in case this was something Lewis was struggling with.