Sometimes he loves me

Chapter 21

EMMA

Vincent and I have been watching a movie in bed and somewhere in the middle of it I fell asleep on his chest. I slowly open my eyes when he runs his fingers over my thigh on his way up to my back.

"Are you awake? Turn around babe." He whispers softly against my hair.

I mumble something and close my eyes again, too sleepy to respond decently and then let him turn me around. When he presses soft kisses down my shoulder and I feel his fingers go down my abdomen, I open my eyes fully, instantly wide awake.

"I'm tired." I say, trying to make him stop.

Acting like he doesn't hear me, he runs his fingertips along the hem of my pyjama bottoms, so I turn a little and stop him when he wants to take them off. "Babe, I don't feel like it right now." I try again.

"Come on, I know you want to." He says as he tries to slide my bottoms down again.

"Babe..." I sigh, but he ignores me and takes them off anyway along with my thong. He puts one hand on my shoulder and pushes me down on my belly.

"I don't feel like it today." I say and want to turn around, but he pushes me down again.

"Just two minutes, then I'll stop." He breathes into my neck.

When I feel his hard dick against my entrance I panic and manage to turn around. I push him off me and sit up right. "I said I'm not in the mood, I just had my dads funeral."

He looks at me for a moment, as if trying to decide whether to have his way with me anyway, but then he rolls away from me with a sigh.

"Keep doing that." He says and gets up from the bed, collecting his clothes.

"Doing what?" I ask confused.

"If you keep rejecting me and pushing me away, I will look for someone who does want it." He threatens.

"What are you going to do?" I ask as he gets dressed and grabs his cigarettes from my tiny desk.

"I'm going outside for a smoke."

I swallow, blinking away my tears when he opens the door and walks out of my room. The hallway is almost empty and the party is dying out, so no one really notices when he shuts the door with a loud bang. When I'm left alone in my dark room, I lie on my back and blankly stare at a sliver of moonlight that shines through the curtain. Tears brim at the corners of my eyes again. If I start crying now, I'll probably still cry when he comes back, and I don't want him to see that because I know he'll get even angrier than he already is.

His words continue to haunt my mind like an echo. "If you keep rejecting me and pushing me away, I will look for someone who does want it."

Suddenly I feel guilty that I rejected him, like I've let him down. I didn't realise I was rejecting him so much. As far as I know I often give him what he wants, even at times when I don't want it myself. But today, I just can't, not after I just buried my dad.
When I open my eyes, Vincent is next to me. I apparently dozed off while worrying. I didn't even hear him come back.

My eyes move to the screen of his phone, which partly shines into my face. I don't like to secretly watch what he's doing, but my curiosity and concern light up when I see a heart on the screen. He clicks away from the conversation, making it impossible for me to read what it was about. My heart starts beating faster when I see he's on Snapchat and I can hardly breathe when I see his list. Jurney, Lucy, Valentina, Susanne... The list doesn't end.

He clicks on an incoming snapchat message, a conversation with a girl who sends her number to him. Is he fucking texting with them? I'm trying not to drive myself crazy but it's really hard when I think back to that other girl's text, Lucy.