dot.

16: Regret

Dot pov

  I'm sorry.

  Dot faced the wall with his wings curled up in his lap and his legs bent behind him, practicing what to say to Felix when he returned.

  I'm so sorry.

  What if he didn't like him anymore? He chewed on the claw that topped his thumb, hating himself for what it had done to his friend.

  The glass butterfly pendant sat against his skin, a cold reminder of the man he had hurt.

  Please forgive me.

  Felix had slipped out of the door with Tiro when he had come to deliver food, but Dot was too miserable to eat the lazily chopped up apple slices that sat lonely on the floor, slowly turning brown.

  What if he had killed him?

  No, no, no, no, please.

​​​​  His friend was the best thing that had happened to him since the experiments started, someone he could cuddle up to, someone kind, someone who would even stick up for him against Nimue. If he was dead, Dot wasn't sure he'd be able to bear it.

​​​  He smacked his forehead against the wall, feeling like he porbably deserved the pain that followed. How could he have attacked him? Because he didn't want Dot to fall and hurt himself? Seriously?

  Another headslam, but much more gentle this time. Felix wouldn't like to see him hurt.

  There was a lasting image of the fear in Felix's eyes when Dot had hissed and growled, a low, guttural sound that the boy had no idea he was even capable of. Was Felix scared of him now? Did he hate him?

  What if Felix left? What then? Dot's mind was a swirling inferno of questions, each of them battling for the right to be asked when the time came.

  He picked up the neon card with his good foot and reread the message he had typed on it just before the attack.

  'up or you get hert'

  His head hung low in shame of what he had done, burying his face between his knees and sighing deeply.

  Please come back.

...

  "Are you sure you want to go back in?"

  Dot held his head back up at the sound of speech from just outside the door, desperately hoping to hear Felix's cheerful voice.

  "Yeah, positive. I'll be more careful this time."

  Yes! It's him! He's not dead!

  Dot jumped up onto his knees and messily scrambled towards the door, reaching it just in time for Felix to step through.

  The man didn't even have time for an awkward 'hello' before Dot wrapped himself around his leg and clung to his trousers, nuzzling his hip since he was unable to reach any higher.

  Thankfully Felix picked him up and hugged him tightly, banishing any lingering worry of what Dot might need to do for his forgiveness in a single swift, loving motion.

  "Hello, you." Felix said fondly, while ruffling Dot's hair.

  The hybrid had forgotten to bring the card over with him in his hurry to reach the door, but hoped that nuzzling his face into the crook of Felix's neck was a good enough greeting.

  "C'mere, look," Felix hoisted Dot onto his hip so that he could carry the boy easier, "I thought of a way to get you up the tree."

  Although he knew the man meant nothing by it, the reminder of previous events swamped Dot with shame, making his cheeks flush an embarrassed pink.

  Felix stopped walking momentarily and turned Dot's face towards him. "Are you alright? You've gone all red."

  Dot grimaced and gave a sharp nod, wiggling the toes on his good leg anxiously.

  Shifting Dot over so he could lift him up easier, Felix asked him a simple question.

  "Are you sorry?"

  The hybrid nodded as fast as he could, still flushed red in shame.

  "Then I forgive you. My shoulders will heal fine, there's no harm done. I lashed out and you responded to that. It hurt, yes, but I don't hate you, nor do I want to leave you, okay? And I'm sorry for tugging on your leg. Do you forgive me?"

  Dot nodded again, making Felix chuckle and kiss his forehead. "So we're all made up then?"

  The boy wrapped his wings around Felix in a loving hug, compelling the man to squeeze him back in turn. He liked hugs from Dot. His wings were quite big and covered most of his upper body and thighs when they enveloped him, making him feel as if he was snuggled up in a warm, fuzzy blanket.

  "Alright, now lean on the trunk and I'll help you get up to the top." As Dot obliged, Felix clambered up the tree and sat on one of the lower branches before reaching his hands down for him to grab.

  Once his hold on the hybrid was secure, he hoisted him up onto the branch he was sitting on and placed him just beside himself.

  "Is this okay? I think we've effectively proved it's impossible for you to hang now, but I thought you'd be okay if I sat here with you and propped you up."

  Dot rested his head on Felix's shoulder and swung his legs back and forth, staring down at the grass below. There was still no sign of Nimue.

  "I talked to Tiro." Felix broke the silence, angling his shoulder downwards so Dot could rest on it more comfortably.

  " He told me some interesting things. But I'm even more confused now than I was before." He sighed, and put his head in his hands. "He told me that Nimue would never let me leave this place."

  Dot's face twitched upwards in a smile that he quickly scrambled to hide. Truth be told, he had  expected that. If he had to guess what Nimue planned to do next, he'd say that she would do to him what she did to Tiro all those years ago- and even if it didn't kill him, after that she would feel like she owned him.

  As much as Dot hated the idea of Nimue gaining another little pet to obsess over, at least he would never have to face her all on his own again.