30. Introducing...Captain Rockface!

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I had once read in a book that Edward Teach, also known as Blackbeard, had been the most successful, ruthless and fearsome pirate in all of history. The book was wrong.

The most fearsome pirate in history did not have a beard, black or otherwise. Not even after weeks spent shipwrecked on a deserted island. Oh no. Somehow, he had managed to keep his chiselled chin pristinely clean-shaven. His hair had grown a little longer, strands of black falling into his icy eyes, but somehow, it only made him look irresistible than before.

"Aboard, men!" Rikkard Ambrose roared, stabbing his sabre into the air. "Aboard! We have a new target! We have new loot to claim! Onward!"

A thunderous cheer erupted from the pirates spread out all over the beach. Their numbers had grown considerably during the past few weeks. Repeated raids on all kinds of ships, many of which were transporting slaves to various colonies, had seen the ranks of his crew expand explosively. Suffice it to say that Captain Rockface was very popular.

Except with the Navy. They didn't like him at all for some reason.

"Board the ship and raise the anchor!" Leaping from his impromptu podium made of barrels, Mr Ambrose gestured for his minions to go ahead. "I'll be with you in a moment, and we shall sail to victory!"

"Aye aye, Captain Rockface!" the crowd roared, followed by another round of cheers.

None of the pirates noticed a muscle in Mr Ambrose's cheek twitching ever so slightly at the mention of the name. With a last nod at his men, my husband strode over to my side and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Captain Rockface? Really?"

I tried not to smirk. I really did. I failed utterly. "Well, someone had to come up with a name for you. Or would you have preferred for the Royal Navy to hunt Captain Rikkard Ambrose? I'm sure Queen Victoria would have loved to hear how her wedding guest took up piracy."

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Mr Ambrose's little finger twitch. "That would have been...displeasing."

"I sense a 'but' there."

His icy eyes bored into me. "Rockface? Captain Rockface?"

"I've got spiffing naming sense, haven't I?"

"Indeed." He lowered his voice, eyes narrowing dangerously. "A naming sense I very much hope you will further improve before the time comes to christen our child."

"Oh, don't you worry." I patted his shoulder. "I've already got the perfect name in mind."

"Why do I suddenly feel dread?"

"Because you are about to embark on a dangerous pirate raid?" I gave him another pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Why, thank you so much for your concern, Mr Linton. I am certain you shall be fine as well." And, turning back to the pirates, who were busy boarding the ship, he called out: "Everyone! Our cook has agreed to prepare a fabulous feast for our return! And he'll do it all on his own!"

This time, the cheer that went up from the crowd was three times as loud. Before I could get out so much as a word of protest, he was already fifteen feet away, climbing into the dinghy that would take him to the ship.

"Farewell!" Raising his hand, he gave me a little wave. "Enjoy the cooking, Freddy!"

And he was gone.

Son of a...!

He was going to pay for this. He definitely would. Even if I would have to pry the money from his cold, dead hands.

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