19. LIFE IS GOD'S NOVEL, TOO BAD HE DIDN'T WRITE THIS ONE.

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"Yes," the man said, realising the connection I was making, "it is sometimes a benefit to have some of the most talented artists in history at one's disposal

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"Yes," the man said, realising the connection I was making, "it is sometimes a benefit to have some of the most talented artists in history at one's disposal. I was going to commission Picasso, but he has a rather odd take on what a realistic portrait should entail. Please, sit."

Standing under the man's gaze made me feel like a child again. He gave the impression of a teacher. Not unkind or stern, but clearly a man of authority who wasn't to be argued with. I did as I was told, perching awkwardly on the very edge of one of the seats beside the fire. He settled opposite me, taking a relaxed pose, still managing to appear tall and imposing even while sitting. "You have questions, I believe?" he said.

"What?" I was caught off guard. "No. No, I don't think so. Sorry, I think there's a misunderstanding. I was just dragged here by a kid. I thought she was lost, so –"

"I don't think she was the one who was lost," he interrupted. "Whether you're fully conscious of them or not, I do believe there are questions you want answered. I will do so to the best of my ability. I think I might even be able to guess what one of those questions might be. Can you?"

It sprang to the forefront of my mind without much provocation, as if the man had yanked it from the anchor holding it deep in my subconscious so that it might float freely to the surface. "Why did I have to die?"

"Everyone must die sometime. It's the way of the world. We are born, we live, and we die."

I probably should've seen that answer coming. It wasn't like I was immortal. Nobody lived forever. Not really. Sure, people could be remembered, but immortals were just a fantasy. The kind of thing you read about in books that were far better constructed than the one that I was trapped in. Maybe with a more competent author. The point was, I knew why I had to die sometime, but that wasn't really what I wanted to ask.

"But why now? Why when I was – I mean – look at me! I'm in my twenties!"

"Every day children are welcomed into Heaven. You are far older than they are, yet you still believe you have been taken unfairly. Why?"

Well, now I just felt like a bitch. Especially after having seen some of those children when I'd first arrived. Fate had been far crueller to them than it had to be and still I found room to complain.

"I – I had plans–"

"Did you?"

"Well – well, I would have. I mean, I hadn't thought a lot about it, but I had things I wanted to do and people I wanted to be with."

"Your sister?"

"Yes! Soph' must have been – I can't even – if something happened to her, I wouldn't know how to carry on living."

"But she has, and so have your parents. It is not their time."

I ought to have been happy that they'd found a way to carry on without me. The very fact that none of my family had joined me in the afterlife was evidence of the fact, but to hear it stated should've filled me with relief rather than sadness. I swallowed past a lump of misery as it swelled in my throat. Of course, they should be allowed to move on with their lives. It'd been far longer for them than it had for me. I just didn't know how anyone could find happiness again after losing someone they loved. I wanted that for them, but I resented it at the same time.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 01, 2023 ⏰

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