Get Talking

Eating Disorders

Warnings and stuff that will be mentioned:

Eating disorders, mention of body image, swearing, mention of throwing up, talk about relapsing.

This was definitely the thing that sparked me to write this, especially after I messaged wolfie_cookie3 in private and explained about eating disorders.

First I think that it is important to clear up some misconceptions in this area.

This is an extract from a book that talks about girls puberty:

"Eating disorders occur when people become obsessed with what they eat. They may binge-eat, throw up their meals or starve themselves."

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So like I said an ed is an eating disorder and tbh they aren't usually spotted very well bc a lot of ppl think that to have an ed you have to be starving yourself and making yourself throw up after eating but really it's not just that, personally I never went that far but I was obsessed w/ how I looked and cut down what I ate (like skipping breakfast and having minimal things at lunch) however it can also be when u eat an excessive amount of food and binge eat (I'm not as well educated in that area of it) they are usually caused by issues w/ body image and like I said most or the time ppl don't spot it like I never believed I had an ed until after I managed to get back on track w/ some help bc I thought it was only one thing, u have prob heard of it but I hope this helps :]

I think it is important for ppl to be more educated and I don't rlly have a problem talking Abt my experiences bc I feel it can help ppl more!! Eds should be spoken about more for sure and so I try and spread awareness:D

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This is what I said to wolfie_cookie3 I  private.

I didn't add any of her messages back but SHE DID REPLY :]

That is kind of like a simplified version of my story due to the amount of words u can have in the private messages but here I do not have that issue so here we go!!

Between September and January 2022 I had an eating disorder.

I suppose you could say I was in denial because I knew I had an eating disorder but I convinced myself that I didn't as I had compared myself to my "best friend" who did and still does skip meals and all sorts that I do not know about.

Because she did those things and said she had an eating disorder and there is NO EDUCATION WHATSOEVER in this area I did not accept the fact that I had an eating disorder until March-April time 2023.

For me, no I did not make myself throw up because i was too scared too. No I did not completely starve myself because I physically couldn't as I was forced to eat breakfast and tea. 

However what I did do was eat about 4 pieces of cereal in the morning, either skip lunch or eat as small as I could and only eat half of my tea.

For the last one I used to get moaned at for by my father :D

I began to be obsessed with the way I looked.

I still am to this day...

I lost the ability to look in the mirror forwards because I was always standing sideways and looking at my stomach.

I hated myself and the thing is that no one realised.

With my "best friend" I always try and get her to eat her lunch, I literally monitor her to make sure she's ok and the only thing she does for me is tell me to eat something when I literally have just eaten a WHOLE SANDWICH in front on her.

It must be the second half of the year has some kind of beef with me because in around September to October 2023 time my eating disorder came back.

And I only really got away from it in the sort of winter holidays I guess.

The reason I got over it quicker this time was because I had told my other friend in the summer and she noticed.

I once again became obsessed with how I looked!

And tbh it hasn't fully gone away because I'm having serious problems with my face at the moment.

There was a day before the winter holidays when the same friend I just mentioned brought me in a chocolate bar and the funny thing is is that she said it was incase I was having a bad day I was already-

I looked at the bar when I got to the bar and saw that she had gotten a black sharpie and completely blacked out all of the dietary information.

If you know someone who is struggling with similar things, do this because it means so much.

I always deny to myself the things that I am struggling with.

Because I'm not educated enough. 

Or at least I wasn't.

So I compared the things I had to others and the thing was that we only get shown the serious cases.

A good reference is the dove advert about teenage mental health, in it, it showed a girl who was in hospital recovering from an eating disorder.

If you have an eating disorder you will not always end up in hospital.

This only happens if it is extreme.

All cases are bad but there is a difference between bad and extreme.

Talking.

Talking helps.

If it didn't then I would still be struggling with my eating disorder and not recovering.

Because I spoke to my friend and told her, she helped me.

Eating disorders do not just disappear.

You have to work so fucking hard to get them to go and recovering takes a long time.

Yes, you may be like me and relapse, which is where you are recovering and then fall back into habits and go back to square 1, but relapsing is part of the process.

If you can recover completely without relapsing then hats off to you because it's hard and the majority of people will not be able to do it, this isn't a bad thing it's just an unfortunate thing.

Do not ever be ashamed if you relapse.

I'm so proud of all of you and keep talking :]]

- We Rolling With It <3