Afraid to love

Chapter 13

I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror. My right cheekbone is still bruised from the attacker's punch. I'm visibly thinner, my brown eyes look tired. I haven't been eating or even sleeping well since the attack. It's been a full week. I spent it here with my parents, not ready to go back out into the real world and leave the security of my parent's home. My mum walks into my room, she has a light, reassuring smile on her lips. She stands beside me and looks at me in the mirror. Her hand gently caresses over my bruise, then my hair,

"My beautiful girl" she whispers. We stand like that without speaking for some time. Then she sighs, looks over at me,

"Come, Sofia, I've made breakfast" she says. I nod and we walk downstairs. My dad is sitting by the dining table, Wolf laying underneath it. The cut he got wasn't deep, and unlike me, Wolf has continued to get better each day. My family loves him. I love him too. I know he saved my life that day,

"Are you sure you want to go back?" my dad asks once I sit down to eat. I nod. I decided to go back to North Sley today. I already bought the train tickets,

"I have to get back to normal life" I say,

"But it's dangerous, Sofia. They didn't catch him. We don't know where he is..." my dad tries to persuade me. He'd never let me go back if he knew the same man that attacked me in the woods has been stalking me in North Sley as well. The police knows it, I told them everything when I went to report the attack a week ago. But I didn't tell my parents, didn't want to worry them more. Maybe I should have.

"I know, dad, but I can't sit here forever. I haven't left the house since that day, and I feel like I have to. I have to get my mind away from everything"

"I know Sofia, but..." he shakes his head, not finishing his sentence,

"I'll be okay" I say, forcing a smile, "I'm not alone. I have Nina there with me, Lara... the two roommates we're living with are good too..."

My dad nods, then sighs,

"Okay... I understand. It's just that... I'm worried"

I only ever planned to stay at my parent's house over the weekend. But my visit turned into a whole week. On Saturday I went to report the attack, then the police went to search the forest. They couldn't find him. I gave them a description of what he looked like, or at least of what I saw. Sunglasses, large white teeth, tall, broad shouldered. Not like Daniel. Definitely not Daniel. At least I know that for sure. My parents drop me off to the train station, we say our goodbyes,

"If you need anything, Sofia, anything at all, just call us" mum says,

"We'll come straight away, doesn't matter that it's far, okay?" my dad adds. I nod, promising that everything will be okay.

I get on the train and wave to my parents as the train leaves. When I can no longer see them, I check my phone. Numerous unread messages from Nina and Lara. They know what happened. Not in full detail because I couldn't bring myself to relive the attack over and over. The only reason I even told them was because I felt the need to warn them to be extremely careful and tell them how dangerous the stalker is and what he threatened to do with me. I lean my head back on the seat and close my eyes. No, I don't want to think about him again. That day still haunts my every thought.

When the train finally stops at North Sley, I'm surprised to see Nina and Lara waiting at the train station. They both hug me at the same time. Nina holds me in an embrace as we walk while Lara takes my bag off me, like I'm too fragile to carry it myself. All this is making me realise I've got the best friends and family in the world.

We don't talk much on the way back to the apartment, both Nina and Lara seem to be weary of bringing anything up,

"George feels so bad he couldn't come to pick you up" Nina says, "I wanted us to pick you up with his car, but he hasn't been well lately. Since his cousin's wedding last week, he came down with a bad cold, only saw him once"

"Don't worry, it's not a long walk anyway"

"I thought I should ask Phil or Daniel to pick you up, but neither were home"

"Do they know what happened to Sofia?" Lara asks, Nina shakes her head,

"No. I didn't feel like it was my place to tell them... plus I didn't see much of either of them. They did ask a couple of times where you were"

"What did you say?" I ask,

"I said you had decided to extend your visit" Nina explains.

We arrive to the apartment, I go straight for a shower and a change of clothes. In the meantime, Nina and Lara work up a quick lunch, roasted veggies and fried rice. I'm not hungry, but I eat anyway.

Once we finish with lunch, the questions start. We sit on the sofa, with me in the middle, my knees brought up to my chest. Lara and Nina are on either side of me. I start from the beginning. How I took Wolf out for a walk in the woods. Then I heard twigs breaking and thought it was a wild animal. I tell them how when I turned, I was face to face with the stalker. I tell them what he looked like, the memory makes me shiver.

The sound of the door opening startles us, we all look up. Daniel walks in and pauses when he sees the three of us sitting huddled together. I pause, too. My eyes meet his.

"Sofia, you're back" he greets

"Hey" I say,

"Everything okay?" his eyes move from me to Lara and Nina. All of our faces look sombre. I think Lara has a few tears in her eyes too. Probably scared to death of what I was about to say.

None of us respond to his question. He frowns,

"What happened?" he asks, stepping in. He squints his eyes at me, walks forward, "is that a bruise?" he asks. I lift my hand to my cheek. I forgot the bruise was still visible,

"No, um..." I start,

"It is" he answers his own question,

"I- fell" I say, I don't even know why I lie,

"That's not a fall. That's a punch" he steps in front of me with a frown,

"Who the hell hit you?" he asks, sounding angry. Why is he angry when I am the one sitting here with a bruised face? I look to Lara and Nina for help, but they're silent. Both of them have their eyes glued to the ground. I look back up at him.

"Talk, Sofia. What happened?" his voice is sharp, "who was it?" he squats down in front of me like he did that day I got the envelope. I pull my face back but he captures me with his hand, examining the bruise,

"This was, when? About a week ago?" he asks,

"How do you know?"

"It's healing. Now tell me, who hit you?"

"It's nothing" I say, biting my lower lip to stop myself from crying in front of him. I guess it's all getting to me, reliving the moment, seeing everyone's reaction when they see my bruised face.

"It was the stalker" Nina says, his eyes instantly move to Nina,

"The guy that left the letter?" he asks, "he hit her? When? Did he-" he cuts himself off, his eyes roam down my body, "did he hurt you in any other way? What happened, Sofia?"

I swear, I never heard Daniel say so many words in such a short time. He's usually calm and composed, yet now...

"He didn't get to hurt her more," Nina says, answering Daniel's questions for me, "he wanted to but the dog stopped him. He bit him. And then Sofia got away, didn't you?" Nina asks me, I nod,

"She was just telling us what happened when you walked in" Lara explains, then she places her hand on my knee reassuringly, "tell us what happened," she prompts me. All three of them are looking at me expectantly, waiting.