Knife's Edge

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

"...Wow," Charlotte says, three hours after Bailey and I get back to the house, once I've ranted all my frustrations out to her over the phone.

I lie across the edge of my bed, my legs dangling over the side with my phone pressed to my ear.

I've told her everything: the Coleman's; Oscar and his dad; the trouble we're in with social services; the fact that, despite that, Bailey is still running off to meet Alex in the early hours of the morning; and that she's now lying for him, too – Charlotte knows it all. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

She probably regrets calling me now.

"What a shit-show," she mumbles, still processing it all.

"Tell me about it," I sigh. Then, I wince in preparation for the yelling that's bound to begin. "Go on then, lay it on me. Tell me how crappy a sister I am for letting this happen."

Charlotte sighs, too. It's not a happy sound.

"You're not a crappy sister, Jade. You're probably the best of all of us," she says.

"Sure," I mumble sarcastically, suddenly feeling deflated.

It's funny how that happens when you finally get something off your chest, something that's been crushing you for weeks. I've been telling people half-truths for far too long. It's nice to have someone else know the full story, someone I can actually talk to.

Charlotte's quiet for a while before she speaks again, mulling over the tsunami of information that's just crashed into her life. I can't blame her; I wouldn't know where to start, either.

"This isn't your fault," she eventually tells me. "Bailey's old enough to make her own decisions."

"Clearly not," I disagree.

"Look, if there's one thing I know about Bailey, it's that you can't make her do anything," she says. "If you tell her not to do something, she'll do it anyway. The best you can do is impart your wisdom and hope she takes it on board."

"I just don't want her getting caught up in their mess," I mumble.

"It sounds like you're getting pretty caught up, too, Sunshine," she says, keeping her voice soft to cushion the blow of her words. I don't respond and she carries on. "Being chased by knife-wielding maniacs, playing nurse to the town's top delinquents... it doesn't sound like you're playing it safe, either."

I'm not ready to admit to the truth behind her words, even though they're only confirmation of the epiphany I had back in the park. I feel the need to defend myself, even though I know she's right.

"It's not like I wanted any of that, though," I protest.

"I know that," she agrees. Then, reluctantly, she continues. "But... Jade? If you want to impart wisdom on Bailey, you have to have some wisdom to share." – Ouch – "You've got to lead by example. You told me you were going to stay away from those guys."

"I know," I mutter, trying not to take too much offense to her words. "It just – it got complicated, you know?"

"Because you were faced with losing your job and having Bailey flunk school," she says. "I get that. And I'm not saying it wasn't a tough choice–"

"You're just saying I chose wrong," I interrupt and, despite my best efforts, I can't help but sound a little bitter.

"I'm saying you could have chosen better," she corrects, her voice hesitant.

I roll my eyes, feeling frustrated.

"I tried," I tell her. Where were you?

I want to tag that question on the end but I know, deep down, that it wouldn't be fair. Sometimes, especially when things get difficult at home, it's hard not to feel annoyed that Charlotte's not around anymore. I know it's not her fault – she's only following her dreams, the same as I plan to – but, still, it sucks.