S.L.T./Anthony "Ant" Vaughn

six

Darren, Quinni and I decided that since Amerie found out about Dusty and Harper we can tell her about the new Incest Map. Amerie is lying on the floor under the table with Darren and I.

"Amerie, I should've told you," Quinni says. "I just thought it was some weird graffiti that some random had put there."

"And now it takes an entire village of randos. I mean..." Darren laughs. "Look at all the fresh little sluts getting up in here."

I point to two of the names. "This happened at Dusty's party."

"Who do you think is doing all of it?" Quinni asks.

"It doesn't matter who's doing it," Amerie tells us. "That stupid freaking map ruined my life. I hate that there's a version 2.0."

"Oh, wait." Quinni squeezes in between Darren and I. "Excuse me!" She writes her name and Sasha's then draws a heart around it.

"Sorry, what?" Darren asks.

"We're in a relationship," Quinni says. "Obviously."

"After hooking up once, that's so textbook lesbian of you," Darren remarks.

"I am never ending up on that map again," Amerie says as she pulls herself out from under the table. "Romance is dead to me."

"What?" Quinni asks.

I laugh. "Sure. I'll believe that."

"I was obsessed with Dusty for like a bajillion years," Amerie says. "And for what? I just ended up completely humiliated. I'm an idiot."

"Okay. So 'idiot' is, um, ableist language," Quinni tells her.

"Yeah, Amerie. Besides, what's the alternative, stitch up your mutt?" Darren says.

"Yeah, basically. I don't even want to think about boys or sеx or dicks for the next... However long it takes me to feel normal again. I'm not even gonna mazz," Amerie tells us.

"Ew, that sounds like my worst nightmare," Darren tells her.

"Truly," I agree.

"Well, how does someone not think about sеx?" Quinni asks.

"I don't know. I'll just... train myself," Amerie offers. "Yeah, every time I get a sexy thought, I'll slap myself in the face."

Darren nods. "Mmm. That sounds super functional."

"Better idea, you could get a hobby," Quinni offers.

"Mazzing is my hobby," Darren states.

"A different hobby," Quinni says.

"Yes! I will get a hobby," Amerie agrees. "Yes! I'll join one of those weird extracurricular groups they advertise on the noticeboard in the quad!"

"Perfect!" Quinni shouts.

"Super wholesome and not sexy at all," Amerie says.

"I'm gonna go look for you. Let's go," Quinni tells her.

I wrap my arm around Amerie. "I give you two days at most."

I'm walking down the hallway with Amerie.

"So how did the Haha club go?" I ask.

"I thought it would be like improve," Amerie tells me.

"It wasn't?" I ask.

"No," Amerie shakes her head, "They were just standing in a circle laughing."

"That sounds like a nightmare," I tell her. "One where you wake up naked and everyone is laughing at you."