Dead To Me

3

It has been a week since I buried Hanna, and I haven't seen her since.

That should be the way it is, of course. But I've been uneasy since I got home in the dead of the night, covered in dirt and feeling like I killed her all over again.

After a week of feeling semi-sane, I return to the job search. One of the local cafes had a STAFF WANTED poster up on the window earlier in the week, so I head up in the morning, dressed in my dad's slacks and my most professional polo shirt. The town is cold again, colder than it should be in May, a fog hanging over the streets.

The cafe is called Betty's Bites, which I find to be a bit of a weird name, but each to their own. I walk down the block and see it on the corner, pink with a green and white striped awning. It's cute, kind of like an ice cream shop you'd find on the beach.

When I enter, the air is warm. There are tables scattered all over the room, people eating toasted sandwiches and wraps, drinking dark pink smoothies that look like dragonfruits in glasses. I walk to the counter. No one is there. I stand for a moment, leaning the counter, before tapping the bell.

After a moment, a figure emerges from the kitchen in a pink apron. As she turns to stand behind the counter, I look at her eyes and hair, and recognise her immediately- Rebecca.

Rebecca went to the same school as me, before I dropped out in sophomore year. She was in my Spanish class, and when I fell asleep, she let me copy her answers. I haven't seen her since I left.

Rebecca looks at me for a brief moment, before smiling, "hey there, what can I get for you today?"

I stand there for a moment, before clearing my throat, "ah. Uh. Hey, Rebecca."

The girl looks at me for a moment, before her eyes widen. She laughs, "oh, Miles!" She exclaims, "hi! I haven't seen you in years! How are you?"

I smile, softly, at the kindness, "hey! Yeah, long time no see. I'm well. How are you?"

"Oh, good," she grins, "guess what, I'm about to graduate! Thank God I've had this place to get me through it. What are you up to?"

I grimace, "I'm, well, you know. Between jobs."

Rebecca looks at me and nods solemnly, "a smart way of saying unemployed."

I laugh, warmth filling me, "thanks."

She smiles, and waits for me to follow up. I clear my throat, "well, I was hoping to ask for a job here. I'm not sure of the procedure..."

"Ooh!" Rebecca smiles brightly, before picking up a note pad, "that would be wonderful! Hold on, let me grab my boss and a form for you."

"Thanks," I say, softly. And then, she's gone.

As I stand there, watching her, I feel a tug on my arm. As she hurries into the kitchen, I turn, and then, I freeze.

Hanna is standing there, her gap-toothed smile still present. She waves.

"Hello, Miles!" She smiles, "I've been looking for you everywhere! You forgot to find me!"

I swallow thickly, my heart thudding, before lowering my voice, "Hanna, you can't be here."

"Why not?" She asks, her brow knitted.

"Because," I grit my teeth, "I'm applying for a job."

"Who's the lady? She's pretty," smiles Hanna, obliviously, "will you marry her?"

I splutter, and suddenly, I feel the eyes of the room on me. I turn to face ahead of me, Hanna in my peripheral vision.

"Please, I can't talk to you right now," I whisper, "we're in public."

"So?" Hanna exclaims, and she taps her fingers idly on the counter, humming again. And suddenly, my eyes are full of tears.

"Hanna," I say, and I turn to her, before the tears are spilling down my face, "I can't talk to you because you are DEAD."

She is silent. And then, the whole room is silent. I turn to see Rebecca with a form in her hand, looking at me with her mouth open. I step backwards, my eyes wide.

With all eyes on me, and my face screwed up with guilt and shame, I leave, and Hanna follows.