Chapter 2

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7/22/2019: Updated to the published version.


Some people might say I was stupid for going up against those boys, but there were no rumors that any of them ever raped or beat a girl. They prided themselves on being gentlemen at their hoity-toity private school. I didn't think they would hurt me. Their game was all about being so irresistibly charming to girls that each one thought they would be the exception to the rule.

It hadn't been difficult to pry the experiences from their past victims. Several of them sighed softly and told me something like, "At least I was really in love when I lost my virginity. He might not have loved me back, but I loved him. I guess I loved someone who didn't even really exist, but the emotion was real inside of me."

What a fucking load of shit!

Those girls took that bullshit and decided they wouldn't be angry with the boys, or at least not show it. I would have killed the boys myself. Fortunately, I had the loving experience those girls thought they were having, but I had it for real. Daniel had been in love with me. I was in love with him. We remained in love until the day he died last year. Who was I kidding? I still loved him!

I knew he was sick. He had cancer when we met. Back then, we really hoped the chemo would work, but I knew there was a chance it wouldn't. I held him through the sickness. I helped him sleep at night. My parents didn't even give me any grief about staying at his house. They understood.

When he got off the chemo the first time and everything looked good, we celebrated. As soon as he felt good again, we had sex. No. We made love. It was beautiful. He was my lover and my best friend. He swore he would love me for the rest of his life, and I believed him. He was true to his word.

The cancer came back with a vengeance. We went through chemo again, but it didn't work. He knew he was dying. We talked about it. I'll never forget the things he said to me.

"Ally, I think I had to go through all this shit to find you, to spend some time loving you. I'd do it all over again and again. I'd choose a year with you over a lifetime without you. I'd choose it every time."

"Me too, Daniel. I'd choose it too. I just wish it was me who was dying instead."

"No! I'm glad it's me. It's going to be rougher for you. You have to go on, love. It's okay because you're stronger than me. I know you can do it. You're a tough chick, Ally Cat."

"I love you, Daniel."

"I love you, Ally. I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll go on, you'll find love again. You won't be all depressed and close yourself off."

"I can't, Daniel. You're my soul mate."

"You can, Ally! There is more than one soul mate out there for some people. You're one of them. I know it. I'm going to be watching over you, Ally, and I'm going to be super pissed if you wallow in sadness! I'm going to haunt you and kick your ass every night in your dreams. But you aren't going to do that. You're going to go on, knowing I'm right there with you. I'll help you find the right guy."

"I don't want anyone else, Daniel."

"You will, when you meet the right one. I'm going to laugh when you reject the idiots and assholes. I'm going to hurt anyone who hurts you. They'll get in car wrecks or have their tiny pricks posted on the internet. You'll see."

"That's the only way I'll see them."

He laughed. "That's my girl."

He kissed me. "But I'm going to be so happy when I see you with the new love of your life, Ally. I'm going to be watching over both of you, making sure nothing bad happens. And then, at the end of your very long lives together, I'll see you both in the afterlife. There won't be any jealousy there, Ally. I told you I'd love you for the rest of my life, but I lied."

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