Chapter one

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My name’s Jesse.

I have lived most of my life different than the way I'm living it now. I'm the same person, of course, I just look and feel more confident in my own body. When I was born the Doctor decided that I was a boy.

He was wrong.

When I finished my 11th year I stopped talking to everyone from my school, even my closest friends. I had to focus on myself. Learn how to stop the discomfort I was having for just being in my body. I had an appointment to start Hormone Replacement Therapy a week after school ended.

I told my mom that I was a girl and she took it pretty well. The next day she woke me up early and we went shopping for clothes I would feel more comfortable in, some makeup, and other must-have items. After school got out I finally started dressing how I wanted. I spent the summer trying my hardest to forget I was ever named Ethan. I went to a lot of LGBTQ+ support group meetings but, besides that, I mainly stayed at home scared if I left my house I would run into someone who knew me and they would recognize me.

The day before school is always scary. Like, what should I wear? Should I even go at all? I had thought about getting homeschooled but Mom refused.

“Jesse, I’m going to leave you if you don’t hurry up and get down here right this moment,” my mom shouted up the stairs.

“Coming!” I yelled as I jumped up from sitting on my bed and went downstairs. I had gotten so lost in thought I forgot that we were going, “Extremely-last-minute school-shopping!” for new clothes.

“Thank god, I thought we were going to be late for your appointment,” Mom said with a sly smile,walking out of the house before I could respond. I followed her lead and hopped in the car. She pulled out of the driveway in her usual reckless manner.

“So, what appointment were you talking about mom?” I asked, trying to get more information out of her. Mom reached her hand over to the radio console and turned it on and then up loudly. I pouted, Well... I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see.

A quarter of an hour later we pulled into a parking lot. A smile spread across my face when I read the sign. ‘The Fab Salon’ I knew why we were there.

“Oh my god mom thank you” I squealed, hugging her. She smiled as we made our way to the modest, weathered brick salon. I followed mom into the quaint salon where a thin woman was sitting behind the counter. Mom tells her we have an appointment.

“I can get you over here,” a woman who looks like she’s looked around my mom's age says, standing by an empty chair.. She wore a crimson red lipstick and had a cute pixie haircut so I instantly trusted her with my hair.  I took my seat at her station and she introduced herself,

“Hello my names Charlie how may I help you today? ” she said in a sweet and gentle tone while giving me a smile. I tell her what I want and she gets to work. A while later my hair was done and I'm looking in the mirror satisfied. I'd been growing my hair for quite a while, to about 10 inches past my shoulders. My hair was now shoulder length. The new blonde highlights in my naturally light brown hair looked so good. I smiled even wider blinking to prevent myself from tearing up.

"Wow, I love this so much, thank you!" I told Charlie.

I decided, since we were still there, I was going to get my eyebrows waxed so the shape would be more arched and feminine. When Charlie finishes with my brows I smile and tell her thank you. Mom pays and we leave and go shopping. After getting more clothes than I should have we head home for the night. Once we get home I go upstairs putting my new stuff away and start getting ready for bed.  I’m a little more ready for school than I was earlier now. I crawl into bed hoping I have a senior year that is unforgettable for all of the right reasons.


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