A Girl Newsie

Falling Apart

September 1897

It had been about two months since everything went downhill. Wolf and Jumps had moved on from the newsie life, Mush got a girlfriend and he seemed really happy with Lacey, but at the same time he seemed sad.

It was get one girl and lose the other. While Feister seemed to be quieter than the first few minutes when she came to the Lodge. She just wasn't herself. She wasn't the girl they all know and love. Though they would say something, but they wanted to live.

Everyday was the same. Wake up, get ready, feel the tension in the air, head out, feel the tension at Jacobi's, (if Mush wasn't out with Lacey) before selling the evening papers and head back to the Lodge where Feister would lock herself in her room while Mush would just lay in his bunk and sigh himself to sleep.

"I can't take this anymore!" Finch exclaimed one night. Feister was at Medda's so she wouldn't have to see Mush get ready for his date and Mush was well...out on a date. This happened pretty much every week, if not everyday. "They's miserable without each other!"

"Ya think?!" Specs yelled back. With everything going loopy with who knows what the newsies were even getting frustrated with drama that wasn't even theirs. Mush and Feister had been friends with each other since day one, and it hurt them to see such an unbreakable friendship break and look like there wasn't one to begin with.

"C'mon guys, we's all know what's goin' on!" Kid Blink yelled as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was. "They's like each other more than they's realize. But they dunno that, an' it's sad cause....cause well it goes like this. Feisty likes Mush, but he has a goil. An' you'se all knows that they's been stuck like glue since day freakin' one!; it hurts 'er ta see someone she cares about with someone else, but she's too good of a friend ta say somethin' cause she wants 'im ta be happy, an' the way she thinks the only way ta make sure he's happy is ta push 'im away, even if it means that she's completely miserable."

A few of the boys nodded in agreement. Feister may be all talk, more bite and is tough as nails, but she has a big heart and is a really sweet, and caring on the inside; she's definitely too good of a friend to mess with someone's happiness. Even if it meant she'd be miserable. Despite everything she'd said how she never wanted to talk to Mush again or how he wasn't her problem anymore, that's just her way of saying she'd rather let him be happy with another girl than be happy herself.

"I's never thought bout it that way," a voice said. All the boys turned around and surprisingly Mush was back before curfew.

"What're you'se doin' here?" Another voice asked.

Mush turned around as he said, "Um..I's live, here."

"Thought you'se had a date," Feister said quietly while looking down at the floor and stuffing her hands in her pockets. For the first time in who knows how long she was talking to him. She had to admit it was nice to hear his voice again, but no one needed to know that.

"Why do you'se care?" he asked. He wasn't sure what else to say since they haven't talked in a few months. But he had to start somewhere, right?

"Yer always here past midnight an' it's only nine." she kept her eyes on the ground. If she looked at him then she'd just feel her insides drop into a million little pieces.

Mush walked up to her and asked, "Can ya at least look at me while ya tawk." There was no answer. Silence filled the bunk room. Not being able to take it anymore. Mush slipped his hand onto her cheek and lifted her head.

When Feister's eyes met his he saw that her big dark eyes that were always filled life, and fire were lifeless, dead in fact. It was kinda scary seeing such a strong girl look so dead. Mush then realized that he did this to her. After what he said to her took the rest of the fire away. Looks like they really are like fire and water. Fire burns with life and the only thing that can take that away is water.

He started kicking himself for letting it get that bad. This wasn't her fault, it was his for not telling her sooner, for not seeing how hurt she was, for not being there when she needed him most. All he wanted to do was hug her and not let go. He just wanted the girl he loves back.

The girl who isn't afraid to tell it like it is, the girl who never backs down from anything, the girl with the fire in her eyes, the girl who's feisty and keeps him on his toes, the girl he's known his whole life, the girl he loves more than anything. He wanted his best friend, he wanted Feister back.

The moment was short lived however because Mush swore that he saw something start to glisten in the corner of her eyes before she ran off to her room like many times before. She slammed the door shut and the sound of a bed flop could be heard. But little did Mush know that for the first time in seven years Feister was crying herself to sleep.

"I's the worst, no scratch that, I's the most terrible best friend an' brother in the woild."

"No yer not," Blink said while patting the slightly younger boy on the back. "She don't mean a word she says or a thing she does. She'd rather see you'se happy even if it means she ends up miserable."

"But then....I's miserable without 'er," Mush said sadly. In all truths, he wasn't happy with Lacey. Who's a....ok girl, but she wasn't the girl he'd known for seven years. Lacey wasn't someone he could really be himself with, or could be with her 24/7. She wasn't the first person on his mind when he woke up or the last person he thought about before going to sleep.

"You'll figure somethin' out, kid," Blink said. That night Mush laid awake trying to figure out what to do about Feister, who had made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. Mush felt awful about everything that had been happening for the last two months.

All he wanted to do at the moment was to hold her and tell her how sorry he was and that everything would be alright. He wanted to see her smile and her fiery eyes. He wanted to hear her laugh and her voice.

Even if she called him 'Mush brains' he wouldn't mind it that much because in all truths he secretly likes when she calls him that, but when the other boys say it, it's annoying. Mush didn't know why he didn't mind hearing Feister call him, "Mush brains" he just did. He then shook it off because it was probably one of those best friend things.

Mush just wanted Feister, his loudmouth, smart Alack, stubborn, and feisty best friend he's known for seven years back again. But it wasn't going to be that simple. Things had been said, done and it couldn't be taken back. But if he could do it over again he would. He then wished things hadn't changed, and changed so fast.