Mary's Bones

SIX

Five months had gone by, and my stomach still couldn't keep any of the contents I swallowed down. This shouldn't have been happening. I expected the sickness to go away already. It felt like I was suspecting my pregnancy for the first time all over again.

Back at the beginning of last year, John and I had been trying consistently with no luck. We had a long discussion with my doctor as a last resort. We hoped that if we had sex around the time I was most fertile, it would help. But it didn't. I didn't think I'd get pregnant because the wait for me to conceive was so long. So, we decided to take a break.

It wasn't until I woke up one morning, puking my guts out as John held my hair back, that I realized I missed my menstrual. I was over a week late. When I bought a pregnancy test, John stood by my side for the whole thing. Two pink lines stared back at me when the results were in. I called John into the bathroom immediately. He almost cried from excitement. Meanwhile, I was stuck in shock.

We eventually told Cory and our parents. They were just as happy for us as we were. Cory was excited to finally become an uncle. He had probably been more excited than we were. Well, he was excited. . .

"I'm sorry about that," I stood from my knees, apologizing to Lucinda. As soon as I ran off, she followed me up the stairs. I felt bad. This was her daughter's memorial, and I ruined things with my inability to control my body.

"Hey, you're fine. Don't worry." She shook her head. "When I was pregnant with Eleanor and Mary, I was worse." She chuckled, trying to bring life to the situation.

I could only chuckle back bitterly. Awkward silence settled between us. I kept reminding myself I was only a stranger who found her daughter's remains. It helped me separate myself from the rest of the people in this house. She treated me the same when I wasn't.

"Hey, come with me really quick." She gestured towards the hallway.

I nodded silently and followed her out of the bathroom. She guided me to a pale-white door. Taped to the front of the door was a drawing of a little girl holding hands with a taller girl. Could it have been Mary and her older sister? I wasn't sure.

"This was Mary's room. We added a few things, you know, toys and stuff, just in case she ever came home." She opened the door. I stepped into the room, gazing around. The goosebumps began crawling along my skin. Was this the kind of information someone shared with a stranger? 

"It's really pretty. . ." I played along anyway.

A cold draft hung around the room. The hairs on my arms stood. The pale white from the door continued into the room all over the walls. A small twin-sized bed sat to the right of the room, made up neatly with a blue bed set. There was a stuffed brown bear in the corner of the bed, lying underneath the blankets.

"Thank you. Now that she's gone, we're going to leave this room in her memory. Do you know what you're having yet?"

"Yeah, a girl." I smiled slightly.

Lucinda's smile widened. "What's her name going to be?"

"John and I decided on Rosemary," I answered.

"Wow, that's a beautiful name."

"John picked it out. He's better at decision-making than I am."

"You and your husband seem like wonderful people. I'm sure you two will make great parents." She walked towards the window of Mary's bedroom.

I allowed my eyes to take in the room some more. There was surely a lot of blue in this room. There were a few pictures of Mary displayed on the nightstand beside a white lamp. In one of the pictures, she was running across a field chasing . . . teal blue butterflies.