The Reason

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I wake up in a cold sweat, I look around the room as my eyes fall onto the blonde form lying beside me. I am confused for a second because isn't Octavian dead? Then then I realize that it is Will lying beside me. I exhale a long sigh as Will shifts a little. He wakes up and looks at me.

"You okay angel?" Will asks me "Any headaches?"  my 'headaches' are just code for the Voices.

"No, not yet anyway, soon though." I look at him. He sits up and holds me in his arms. I love it when Will holds me, it is like he is holding me together. He kisses the top of my head and whispers in my ear, "I love you." I smile at that and fall asleep in Will's arms. 

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In the morning, Will and I head down to the dining pavilion. We sit together at the Apollo Table. Will's siblings greet me and ask how my night was. I reply that it was a little rough. I look at Will who wraps his arm around me, pulling me close to him. We eat as I listen to Will bicker with his siblings. It makes me think about Hazel, I wonder how she is doing. I zone out until Kayla asks me if the medication is working.

" Kinda, it helps but not by much. Sorry." I look down at my plate feeling the eyes of the Apollo table on me, staring, judging, criticizing. Will pulls me close to him bringing me some comfort. 

"It's alright, we will keep trying until we get it right Nico, I promise," Kayla assures me. I peek up a little and see her blue eyes that she shares with Will, look at me, full of confidence. I smile at Kayla.

"Guys, crazy thought. What if we get Nico a service animal for when we aren't with him." I look at Will in surprise. My eyes go wide. I start to tear up, the voices start telling me "See they think you have special needs if you get a service dog and that means you are retarded. you stupid piece of shit. Worthless."   I start to cry as the Voices berate me. Will notices and realizes his mistake.

"Oh Nico, honey. I don't mean what you think. I just thought if you got maybe a service animal, it could help you when you have a panic attack when I'm not around." Will assures me. 

"Will I think that is a good idea, maybe we could train Mrs. O'leary to help?" Austin wounders. I laugh at that. 

"Mrs. O'leary is the size of a tank, when I try to walk her, she just drags me behind her. So no that wouldn't work. Maybe a cat?" I tell them. Will thinks for a minute.

"You like cats don't you?" I nod " Alright, well I was looking into this earlier on my laptop that Leo gave me. Here is the website." Will pulls out his laptop from his backpack that he takes everywhere. He puts the laptop on the table and opens it up. He pulls up the site and shows us. I scroll through the list of service animals in training until I spot a small black kitten. I point her out and Will smiles.

"Of course you choose a black cat. I can call them right now if you want." Will asks. I nod as he pulls out his phone. He dials the number and puts it to his ear as the phone rings. 

"Hello? Yes, I am calling to see if I can get a service animal for my boyfriend. No, he doesn't have physical disabilities, he has mental health problems. Yes, he does take prescribed medication that helps somewhat but not much. He does better with other living beings. I wanted to see if I could get him an animal to help with panic attacks when I can't get to him. Oh, you can do that? Perfect. Yes, we did look at the animals, He saw the black kitten and said he would like that one. Okay, his disorders? Uh, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, PTSD, insomnia, and night terrors. Yes, thank you, A name for the cat?" Will takes the phone from his ear and looks to me. 

"What do you want to name the cat. It's a girl just so you know." I think for a minute and tell him.

"Maria, after my mother." Will smiles and nods.

"He said Maria for the name. Yes, thank you. Okay,  so we come in on Thursday, yep, okay, perfect, great, thank you so much. yes, goodbye." Will hangs up the phone and looks at me with a huge smile on his face.

"Guess who gets to meet their new best friend tomorrow?"He smiles.

"Oh, gods I don't know, who?" I sass. "Thank you, Will, your the best. I love you." I tell him.

"I love you too darling." He kisses me soundly and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with.


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