What's the worst that's happened to you so far? How did it hurt you? Do you wish that the pain would just go away? Do you wish, maybe, that it never happened at all?
What if wishing your pain away was the wrong answer? What if instead, you co...
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Why Did I Do That?
Has this ever happened to you? You're angry. Someone did something that really got under your skin, your blood is boiling, your mind is on fire, and you can't think about anything else. You react. Badly. Once things calm down, you take a look in the mirror and ask 'Why did I do that?'
At some point, most of us have had to shake our heads over something we've done. Usually, we never come up with a good answer. Rather, we brush it off and move on.
This was my problem. Too many times, I let my emotions lead me into trouble. I kept making the wrong decisions over and over again and I couldn't figure out why. Even choices that I knew would mean long-term pain for short-term gain I did anyway! I eventually sat down in frustration and asked myself, 'How does this keep happening to me?'
I started looking at those Past Problems, which helped me develop the Look In & Learn exercise. But it also revealed to me The Model (above). If Look In & Learn is the vehicle, then this model is the roadway. You need to understand both to be able to go back in time through your Past Problems and return with your Treasures. You need to understand this model to use Look In & Learn effectively.
The Answer
First, let's start with the answer.
Your thoughts produce your emotions and your emotions produce your actions.
Stop. Read that last sentence again. Slowly.
Ever had a moment when you really thought you should exercise but you didn't 'feel' like it, so you ended up watching TV instead? What about a time when someone dragged you to a party you didn't 'feel' like going to, you told yourself you're only going to go for an hour but then you met someone amazing, had a blast and stayed all night?
Your emotions drive your actions. And it's your thoughts that drive your emotions.
Now, you might be thinking, 'Hold on a minute. I've pushed myself to get to the gym. I've held my temper before. I've controlled my emotions in other situations too. This is bullshit!' (See how thoughts can change your emotions?). In those situations, what you've really been doing is controlling your actions, not your emotions. Yeah, you can drag your ass to the gym. But do you feel amazing while doing it? Did your emotions actually change?
You can take actions that are contrary to what your emotions are driving you to do, but this requires effort. It takes will power. That's why you find it 'hard' to turn off the TV and go to the gym. Your brain has to exert effort! In fact, if you look up 'will power' online, the definition is 'control exerted to do something or restrain impulses.' And what is will power? Where does it come from? Simple - your thoughts. You are using your mind to tell yourself, 'I don't care how you feel, we are going to the gym!'
