Behind My Eyes.

for sam.

she was like a pool on a hot day.

she was like the moon to the earth.

she was needed by everyone but she never knew it.

she was a story, a tragic one, but a story nonetheless.

people still speak of her, in reminiscence and hushed voices.

a few people know the true story of who she was, those same people were absolutely crushed to find out that her story had ended.

the world without you is a cold and desolate place.

why did you do it?

now you're forever stuck at sixteen and i'm stuck here aging without you.

you were the sister i never had and we were always supposed to have each others backs.

it's not fair, you were supposed to be twenty-six this year and we were supposed to go out on the town.

i never got to see you graduate or how you looked in your prom dress, which we both know you would've looked beautiful in.

it's not fair.

i can still remember the day it all happened with such clarity it's almost as if i'm still there.

i remember the panicked phone call to mom asking her to go to your house to check on you as my bus drove by your ambulance ridden house.

i remember freaking out all day wondering if you were okay.

i remember mom texting me that she wouldn't tell me what happened until i got home.

i remember telling talia i had a bad feeling about it.

did you know she has two kids now, a little girl and boy, you would've loved them?

i remember coming through the door and sitting on my mom's bed and her telling me that it was you who didn't make it.

i remember immediately breaking down right then and there.

i then called your phone, not believing it, i just wanted you to answer the phone.

i needed you to.

after the sixth call and hearing your voice on the voicemail i knew it was true.

i think about you all the time.

i know one day i'll see you again but until then, everything i do is for you.