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"Shit on it! Shit on the shitting thing!"
It was Friday night at the Goodman home and as per usual, things were not going well. Martin was shirtless, Jackie was desperate for him to cover up, Adam and Jonny had spent the majority of the evening trying to trick each other into drinking salt water and as a new addition to the regular, weely catastrophes, the oven was on fire.
At least, it had been for a few, hectic minutes. But thanks to the boys' efforts of throwing many litres of assorted liquids onto the raging flames, the fire had soon been extinguished. Jackie had miserably enquired why they had had to use the expensive, bottled drinks from the fridge rather than ordinary tap water, but their reasoning had been that they had better access to the fridge and that if she should be annoyed at anyone, it ought to be their father for creating the mess in the first place.
So, as a disastrous result of the onslaught in the kitchen, the floor was now drenched in an array of fizzy drinks, bottled water and for some reason tomato ketchup (which Adam had obviously used by mistake) and their entire dinner had been scorched to a blackened crisp.
"Oh, Martin," Jackie scolded. "What have you done?" A melancholy sigh released from her lips. "And boys, the floor is a complete mess. I can't believe you three! Great. Another Friday night dinner ruined."
Adam suppressed a smirk. "I mean, what did you expect when you asked Dad to cook for us?"
Jonny nodded in agreement. "See, if you'd have just made dinner as usual, this all wouldn't have happened. So, in a way, this could be seen as your fault."
He trailed off, however, when his mother stared at him, a furious expression painted across her features.
"What are we going to do now then? I'm not cooking something else now - it's too late, and your father used all the good food."
"How about we get a Chinese?" Adam suggested.
Martin grinned and rubbed his hands together. "Ooh, yes. Crispy duck!"
Jackie glared at her husband and scowled. "After the disaster you made, Martin, you will get no crispy duck!"
"But, Jackie..."
"No, Martin!"
Jonny paused in thought. "We could order a pizza?"
"Pizza? For Friday night dinner?" Jackie asked, evidently displeased.
"Go on, Mum," Adam urged, "Unless you want to cook something else..."
Jackie sighed, as the boys got the best of her once more. "Oh, go on then."
