Love Finds A Way

18

TONIGHT IS the dinner with Anderson and his husband. I'm unnecessarily worried. It will confirm or suggest that her and I are together. We are in a relationship in someway, but an undefined one.

I haven't asked a woman to be my girlfriend ever. Must I be the one to? I'm so nervous and excited at the same time. No one's ever made me feel so many tingles from just the thought of them.

"When you left this morning, I didn't think you'd be back so soon," Bethany teases. I don't see Blue anywhere in sight and become sad.

"Where's my baby?" I pout, as I follow her into her bedroom. She has a robe wrapped around her body, and I wonder if that's the only thing she has on.

"He's with my aunt," she turns and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me in, "I need you to kiss me."

The blush that rises to my cheeks makes her peck my lips gently, "Bethany," my head tilts to the side, as her warmth invades my body, and causes all of my thoughts to become lost.

"Yes?" She flicks the tip of her tongue over my upper lip, as her arms tighten around my neck.

"I'd like to take you out on Friday," I'm yet to plan our date, but I know it'll be great as long as we're together. I do want to make it extremely special for her though, because she's so special to me.

"Really? On a date?"

I nod shyly. The smile on her face brightens, and I can't stop myself from smiling widely too.

"Yes, a date," biting down on her bottom lip, she looks into my eyes, causing goosebumps to form on my skin.

"Will we have sex after?" She asks. I'm taken by surprise, and I look away, trying to cover up my blush.

"Uh, if you want. I mean, yes, yes of course," I say. She giggles and pulls me closer into her arms.

"I'm kidding. But I'd love to," my heart rate increases, as she traces the tip of her index finger over my lips, "you're so beautiful. I think it would be so easy to fall in love with you," she mumbles.

My heart stops. And I begin to panic. Stepping back, my breathing becomes heavy, and I rub the back of my neck with the palm of my hand, "I'll let you get dressed."

I rush out of her room, and pace the kitchen. Rubbing my hand across my face, I think I'm having an anxiety attack, "Xiomara?" My eyes are closed, and I hold onto the kitchen counter, trying to steady my breathing, "come here," she pulls me into her arms, but I don't feel like being comforted.

"I'm fine. I just need a moment alone," the splinters in my voice is concerning her. She takes my hand, and kisses the back of my palm, before guiding me into the living room.

"Stop overthinking, okay?" She kisses my forehead, as I sit down. I sigh, as she walks away, knowing that I'm making a fool of myself. I'm such a walking meltdown. Why am I letting my emotions get the best of me so often?

I check through my emails while I wait, and receive a text from Ethan.

Ethan: The date is scheduled for Friday. You should give mom a call.

That's just fucking great. I already asked Bethany out on Friday, and I'm not changing my plans with her.

Me: I'm busy then. Tell your mother that I'll check my calendar, and try to fit her in.

I lean back, and close my eyes for a moment. This whole thing with Petah is the only major problem in my life right now. Without this stress, I'd probably be much, much happier.

Ethan: Don't be difficult. She just wants a chance.

And I want my freedom! Dammit. I don't respond, and place each and every one of them on mute. The only reason why I'm not turning off my phone is incase of anything regarding work.

"Xiomara?" Bethany walks out, wearing the most gorgeous white dress. Holy hell, my mood is so much better now.

"Hey," I mutter shyly, as I take her appearance in. She grins at me, and stretches her hand out for me to take.

"Are you feeling better?" She asks. I nod and continue to look at her. I've never seen someone so beautiful up close in my life.

"Yes," I place my fist against my lips, and clear my throat, "you look amazing," she smiles brightly, and pulls me into her, snaking her arms around my neck.

"Aren't you going to give me a kiss?" I inhale a deep breath, as those blue oceans deepen, "Xiomara?" She urges, but I'm lost relishing in the simplicity of this moment.

"Shhh," I place my index finger against her lips, and brush it across, before cupping her chin, and drawing her in, "I can't believe that someone like you is attracted to someone like me."

As those words leave my lips, I swallow hard, "don't ever sell yourself short, babe."

I'm flattered, but I know that she's way out of my league, "will you be my girlfriend, Bethany?" That sounds so stupid. Oh no! Fuck.

"Professionalism is my main priority, so what happened is in the past, and we're going to start fresh," my jaw almost drops to the floor, as she begins to giggle, "sorry, I just had to."

I frown and step back, her arms dropping to her sides. That's exactly what I said that day!

"Good memory, huh?"

She nods and steps forward, attempting to persuade me to hold her again. But I'm still waiting for an answer to my request. She says, "I just love to tease. You did hurt my feelings a lot though," she places her hands on my waist, and gently digs her nails into my skin.

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, I just—" I swallow, "was afraid, I still am actually."

"You've got a lot on your plate, I get that. And you can be closed off, but never distant, which is a weird combination."

I sigh and look down, settling my eyes on the hardwood flooring, "I'm insecure about this—about us," I admit.

"I'm not going to leave you for some other woman just because you're twenty-three years older than me, and your breasts aren't as perky as mine," she grabs hold of my cleavage, before moving her hands onto my nipples. If I wasn't wearing a bra, she'd probably feel how hard they are, "I actually admire the lines beside your eyes, and the scar from your c-section," my face is bright red right now. She noticed my scar? Fuck, if old age can't scare her off, that should!

"And you're not running for the hills, why?" I ask her.

"We all have things that we're insecure about, Xiomara. But that doesn't mean it lessens our attractiveness, if anything, it makes us even more appealing," that's so easy for her to say. There's nothing undesirable about her, "you do realize that you sometimes say your thoughts out loud, right?" I'm as bright as a tomato now!

"Um, uh," she unbuttons the first three buttons of my shirt, and releases the hook of my bra that is in between my breasts, "what are you doing?" As my breasts pop out, her hands immediately cover them.

"I'm touching you," she says softly, and I close my eyes. Isn't this against the rules? I'm not even sure what rules I'm referring to. We're way past the first base stage by now. And she can touch me if she wants, right? Who's gonna stop her? I'd be dumb if I do.

"You shouldn't be—" she squeezes my nipples between her indexes and thumbs, "Bethany, please, I—" she pushes me against the wall, and leans in, her lips grazing against the slope of my neck.

"Are you really going to stop me?" She asks. Her lips are merely a few inches away from mine. I can't breathe when she's so near, and I'm not sure if that should be considered good or bad.

"No," it's barely above a whisper, but she sighs, and leans in, while closing her eyes. My eyes close too, as our lips meet, the hunger inside of me rising.

There's something so sensual right now, so heart wrenching, causing my entire body to almost melt against hers. I can feel my muscles relaxing, and each and every strain in my body easing. God, is this what it's like to be in heaven? To be completely happy for a few moments?

As the kiss ends, all of my troubles that I'd forgotten about resurfaces in my mind, and I cringe. Lucky for me, her eyes are still closed, so she doesn't notice.