The Greatest Prank

Ch 8

Harry sighed.

"What's got you so happy?" asked Hermione.

"Well I find it relaxing that we don't have to scramble to solve some big mystery this year. Remember last year?"

Hermione's eyes light up with understanding. Ever since the great paint and glitter battle on Valentine's day (in which the twins publicly declared him their new hero) she had been a bit more relaxed. Frankly Harry had been glad of the fact.

If Harry hadn't threatened to set the entire Gryffindor house on her with the water guns and paint, she might have gone overboard with the study guides like last year.

As it was, she found it surprisingly cathartic to set dummies on fire that looked like certain Slytherin girls with a spell Richard taught her.

Every time she started to feel too concerned about exams, Harry would hand her something she never thought she would ever dare handle.

She didn't know where he got a shot gun, and frankly she didn't think it would be good for her sanity to ask. There were some things you were never meant to know, and the fact her best friend was a pyromaniac with a love of things that blew up and guns was one of them.

Besides, as Harry had cheerfully pointed out, all one had to do to gain unlimited access to the restricted section was amuse Professor Richard.

Pansy Parkinson had become a very familiar face in the Hospital Wing, because Hermione had seized the opportunity of Defense class to hex the girl until she was blue in the face.

Richard promptly agreed to sign any papers allowing her to remove books from the library if she needed them, provided she continued to entertain him.

Harry had laughed himself sick that night.

"Cheer up mate, at least next year we get to pick our classes. Too bad we can't drop potions," said Ron.

"Nah, potions is actually quite fun once you know what to bribe Snape with," said Harry with an insane grin.

Harry had found an odd sort of balance with Snape, once he realized Richard was there to stay for the moment. And thanks to an obscure spell Harry had already cast on the class, none of the students would think to mention that the infamous warlock was the teacher until Richard finally got bored enough to leave Hogwarts.

Probably around the same time Harry graduated.

Harry didn't want his fun ruined because Draco or any of the other students with families in the Ministry happened to say the wrong thing. Like he told McGonagall once she found out...at least with Richard he knew for a fact that if he accidentally killed him it wouldn't be personal or more annoying, Voldemort related. And there was no way Richard would ever side with (and Harry would quote him on this...) 'a two-knut hack with almost zero talent and a lack of imagination'.

Harry, to his amusement, aced all his exams. Unlike Ron he had no desire to scry the future, which according to some of the older students was all Trelawny focused on. If you had the talent, then it was useful, but Richard had agreed to show him how to scry the present and see events from another continent. You didn't need the knack foretelling required, but a crystal ball would be extremely useful and it was less wonky. Some people even used mirrors.

Hermione, to Harry's annoyance, signed up for everything. Including, to his disgust, muggle studies.

She was mundane raised. She didn't need that outdated class. And he knew it was outdated because he asked one of the twins for a copy of their textbook.

Not a single mention of computers and the closest thing to a modern airplane looked like something out of a history book from the 1940's. It was also pretty clear it hadn't been updated in a long time.