Wild World

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She ran for what seemed like ages until she found herself deep in the woods. It was an old place of comfort to her and she needed that. She was at a loss. Her life would be forever changed now and she had no one to turn to. Years of isolation made her feel she couldn't even go to friends or family and after all what would she tell them?

I killed- no, he killed my husband, but I let it happen.

Did she even have a choice? No, no one would understand. She had been ready before, ready for her life to end, but then there was Michael. He had complicated things. He had gotten in her way and finished what she started. Why?

She rested against a tree and let herself slide down into the crisp leaves that were lying on the ground. The cold wood against her back felt good, it seemed to make it easier for her to think and she had a lot to think about. She thought back to the kiss she had given him, not even sure what had made her do it. Maybe it was just the adrenaline, she tried to tell herself, but she knew that was a weak excuse. She wanted to kiss him. Seeing him drenched in glistening red should have made her run but instead she wanted to kiss him. She did, there was no way around it. It wasn't like her. None of this was. He was just another monster, wasn't he? He didn't seem capable of lying or using, but killing? He was more than capable of that and she envied it. She had no idea what she was becoming.

She ran her hands through her hair, feeling truly manic at this point. There was such a deep need inside her that hadn't been fulfilled, no matter how much blood she had seen spilled. It was as if she was craving it. That image of his blood running towards her crept into her mind, the sound of the blade penetrating flesh. It should have been her wielding it. She should have been the one to drain his life. But was it really just about him anymore? This desire she had invaded every part of her, she could feel it burning as it moved within. And then there was him.

Was it that she admired him? She was fascinated by his cold abilities, he was unfeeling or seemingly so. Watching him kill was other worldly. He emanated strength, power, immortality. As if each time his knife pierced whatever flesh lie beneath him he became more invincible. And she wanted to be invincible.

Invincible to monsters like him. To liars, cheaters, takers. It felt like they were all around her. His death hadn't changed anything. He was just one embodiment of the evil in this world. More hid behind their charming smiles as they slithered like snakes into the innocent of this world, taking whatever purity was left. And really, was there any left? These vampires didn't even lurk in the shadows anymore, they were in plain sight, no longer creatures of the night. The light of day had no power against their wicked ways. Nothing stopped them, the world in fact indulged them, encouraged them.

She understood Michael in that sense. His disdain for this town and the world was something they were starting to share. He took out the wicked, he seemed to know their thoughts. After all, who was totally innocent? Everyone has dirty secrets hiding somewhere within them. Why not take them all out? He did. He had no weakness because he had never been blind to it. Perhaps the mask wasn't meant to cover some internal shame but to separate him from this world and the evil he saw so clearly. A shield.

He wasn't the monster, the world was.

He had wanted to shield her from it, all this time worried she would be frightened of him. Perhaps she would have been, but her life and every painful memory she lived over and over led her to him. Maybe he was the silver lining, something to make the hell she lived through worth it. She would be invincible with him and she would be invincible like him. She had no need for a mask, she had him. He was her shield.

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