still, none the wiser (poetry)

rot

through rotted eyes,

i watch flowers grow out of my bones.

i am dead, yet

the sky looks just as blue

as it used to.

maybe bluer.

i lay in this field, and i am

still here,

and i wonder if you're thinking

of me.

and i wonder if it is possible

for someone alive to haunt the dead.

i see the birds fly overhead of me,

all in a little flock.

one, i notice, trails behind the others,

moving sloppily,

slowly.

i watch that bird give its everything

just to keep up with the group.

and it never quite makes it.

poor thing, i say as i lie alone

in this field.

poor thing, i say as the

life i spent my whole life living, slips

away from me.

poor thing, i say as your ghost

floats around my blue sky

with much more grace than that

of the little bird.

♧♧♧♧

my flowers are forget-me-nots.

one day, they will grow over me,

and i will be nothing once again.

but right now, i am lying in

these flowers and i am seeing

everything in such

color.

the grass below me shines a green

like that of an emerald.

it is soft.

i wonder about all the critters living

in it, and i wonder what all

they choose to love

in their short span of life.

the petals of my undertakers

reflect the shade of the sky.

perhaps they fell, fragments

of some calm summer storm.

little pieces of above sent

just for me.

somebody must see me up

there, from the clouds.

i am not alone.

i am lying in this field and

i am dead and i

must not be alone.

♧♧♧♧♧

there is an airplane

flying through the sky.

my person is up there.

the one who saw me,

the one who sent me

pieces of their blue.

that little bird is up there,

still trying its not good enough best

to make it.

i want to yell for them to

move.

to jump.

to come see me down here.

to come save me from this ghost

that won't stop being.

but all i am anymore is a skeleton,

and the will of my brainless head

is not enough for them to hear me.

so, i watch, like i have done

since before i can remember.

the plane disappears into a cloud,

but your ghost is still here.

i am still here.

i lie in this field, under the sky,

over my flowers, and somewhere

deep within these bones.

i am still here.

-V