Shut Up and Surprise Me

17. Accusation

"I can explain," I squeak like a duck toy.

She frowns, eyes fixed on her ruined diary. "Did you read my journal?"

"No, I didn't read it. I was about to put it back into your drawer but I dropped it instead, and it flew to the wall, ‌and it broke," I say in one breath. "I'm sorry."

"But it was in my drawer." She turns her head to me. "You took it out?"

I sigh as I drop my head like a student getting a ticket for detention. "Yes, I did."

Her frown turns to an annoyed glare. "Why?"

"I–" I pause, thinking of the best excuse on earth to save my own ass. "Your drawer was open a little, and I saw the diary. I guess I just wanted to have a look." It seems like being honest is better. Her anger will hit me fast and furious, then I can do something to fix it.

"Do you mean you wanted to read my journal when I wasn't here?" she asks in a high-pitched voice.

"It crossed my mind yeah, but–"

"Mam!" Chloe shouts in exasperation. "Why? You check my phone every day, and now you read my journal too. You said I was big enough now to have my own thing, like Diana. Why can't you be like Aunt Sophie?"

"I..." I take a step forward but stop immediately when she quickly grabs her journal and hides it behind her. "I decided to put it back into your drawer before I dropped it. I promise you I haven't read anything."

She looks down at her diary to examine the damage. Her little fingers trace the crack on the lock base, and she sighs. I wish she was my seven-year-old daughter who believed every single thing I said, but she's entering her teenage years; she must be processing it differently now. The terrifying part is it feels like I can't predict her reaction anymore.

"You believe me, right?" I ask in a tentative tone.

She lifts her head to look up at me, still looking suspicious. "You lied to me about Ashton for a long time. So, I don't know if you're telling me the truth now?"

Her words are like a double-edged sword flying straight into my chest. I thought we'd put the dark chapter of our life behind us. I thought she believed me when I said I would not lie to her anymore. Apparently, forgiving is not equal to forgetting.

Her accusation stings big time, and instead of feeling hurt and sad, a pit of anger rolls inside my vein. This is not fair. I've been trying so hard to be a better person, yet she holds me against my past mistakes.

"You know what? Forget what I said. Yes, I wanted to read your journal because you've been distant, and I don't know what's going on between us lately. We used to be so close, inseparable, and we talked about everything, but now I don't know if you want to spend time with me, even for five minutes."

"You don't know because you never tried to spend time with me! You're never here! You don't pick up a phone call like you used to, and you're always with your laptop when you're home."

I groan in frustration. "We've been through this. I told you that this is just temporary, and that I need to work very hard to make everything work before I can go back to how it used to be. Things are not easy for all of us at the moment, I know that. I may not be home that much, but I'm still the same person: your mama."

"Then be my mama! I want my mama!" she shouts before running out of her room with her journal in hand.

"Chloe!" I call as I follow her, but she's too fast dashing to the stair landing.

The door of Ashton's study room downstairs is yanked open, and he walks out of the room with a frown on his face. "What is going on? Why are you two shouting at each other?"