Research: Romance

in-convenience

3 YEARS LATER...

When I froze in the gummy candy aisle of the convenience store, it felt as if my skin were suddenly filleted open. I was vulnerable, the lights were blinding, and so many people were watching--- all their eyes on me. I wasn't breathing, but my heart was beating, and there wasn't enough air, but people were looking, even though I was fine-- am fine-- I'm fine!

"Are you choking?" A quiet but deep voice spoke from beside me. There was rustling, and I could see his shoulder, but I couldn't move. I just stared at the gummy worms in hopes they would communicate for me. All they gave me were empty eyed smiles.

"Hey...you're holding your throat, are you choking?" He gripped my shoulders gently and turned me toward him. It was like being moved by a breeze rather than a person. My head lulled back, and I met two hazel eyes. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head slightly, not able to do much else. It felt like everything was at top volume, lights, sounds, even the grating feeling of my cotton shirt on my shoulders where he was pressing had me begging to leave my body. My chest was squeezing so tight I felt that at any moment I could burst.

"Um, okay..." His eyes widened. Clearly, he hadn't expected me to say "no" to his question. The fact that an American would say anything other than "Fine, thank you" is a baffling experience.

He looked around desperately for an attendant, but I reached up and gripped his wrist hard. I shook my head. 

"Does it hurt? Do you... I mean don't—-I should get someone. I'm going to get someone, okay?"

Please, no more people. I wanted to scream it at him, because now people were actually looking. He moved me to what he deemed a safe spot, leaning against the jerky rack, and disappeared.

There were some curious gazes and stares. I started to sweat, it felt like every second in my brain lasted hours. He returned with a woman who looked like she knew a thing or two about the human body (that's pure guesswork but why else would he bring her).

"Sweetie, I'm a nurse. I need you to talk to me."

"I know the Heimlich. But I don't think she's...She's wheezing. I don't know she's just frozen." The man closed his mouth and shook his head. "I didn't know what to do."

I'm wheezing? I thought, then listening I realized that sound was coming from me. I thought it was a ceiling fan. (There were no ceiling fans in the building).

The nurse patted him on the arm reassuringly, then moved to me and made me sit on the floor and cross my arms across my chest. She pushed my knees up and gently forced my head between them. "Breathe-1,2,3..." she tapped each shoulder as she counted a number.

I did my best to breathe, but it was hard at first. I ended up just holding my breath all together then let it out when I couldn't hold it anymore. It took a few minutes, but eventually I felt my body relax.

The woman must have felt it too, because she lifted her hands gently from the tops of mine and stroked my back. "There she is." I unfolded myself, the lights a little blinding after being in the dark, and I looked at the woman. She gave me a smile, "There, all better. You did great."

I smiled because I didn't know what else to do, "Thank you."

The man was still standing there. If I hadn't known better, I would guess he was the one having an anxiety attack. The only thing moving on him was his pointer finger, picking the skin at the side of his thumb. His eyebrows were drawn down with uneasiness and he was looking at me like I was a China plate balancing on the edge of a counter.

I offered him a small smile too, "Thank you. I'm sorry if I worried you."

This brought him out of his trance, and he nodded, "No, it's okay. I'm just glad you came around."

I noticed him for the first time, and found him remarkably familiar: ruffled hair, smudged glasses from rubbing his eyes under the lenses, wrinkled sweatshirt. Ah, that's it. I looked down at myself. That's what I look like too. 

"Get some water and take a minute." The nurse patted my back and stood up. "Nothing a couple deep breaths can't fix."

"Except choking. That would've made it worse." I attempted humor but it came out dry. She looked at me curiously, but he smiled in the corner of his mouth.

It didn't concern her enough to ask, and the lady left, her job completed. I stared awkwardly at the man before me as the few spectators in the store went back to what they were doing. He offered another smile, but it was upside down. Not a frown, per say, but the corner of his mouth pulled down in cheeky kind of way. He should have dimples. I thought to myself out of habit as I looked at his smile. Dimples would make that smile shine. Perfect smile for a love interest.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He cleared his throat awkwardly. I had been staring. It was a new habit I had formed, staring at people for inspiration, since trying to write the "romance novel of the century" and getting nowhere for the last 3 years. So were anxiety and panic attacks, unfortunately. 

Nodding, I take a deep breath, "Yes... just some unfortunate timing. It's not the first time this has happened. I'm grateful for your help though. Death by asphyxiation, next to gummy candy, was not the way I wanted to go."

"At least it would be memorable." He smiles, I laugh and nod. Then he stretches out his hand and says warmly, "I'm Robin."

I take it and it's sweaty but rough in a nice sort of way, we shake hands once before letting go, "Leah. It's nice to meet you, Robin."

"You as well," He laughs, looking at the gummy candy for a moment before shaking his head to himself. It was then I realized he was holding a package of gummy bears in his other hand along with some sports drink and a five-hour energy. "Uh, do you have someone you can call to get you?"

"No, I don't work too far from here. I just came in for something to snack on." Shrugging my shoulder, I sigh, "I'll go back that way. Not much of an appetite now,"

He nodded, and walked toward the check-out which signaled the end of our conversation. I walked out of the doors and started down the street. It wasn't more than five minutes before Robin skidded to a halt at the crosswalk beside me. My eyes widened in surprise, and he was breathing hard.

"Here." He pushed a banana and the sports drink he held previously into my hand. "I looked it up, it's supposed to help."

The crosswalk turned green, but I couldn't help staring at him. He gestured again for me to take it. I complied, taking them in both hands. "Um, thank you."

 Once he looked satisfied, he smiled upside down, waved his hand, and took off back down the sidewalk. I watched him turn the corner before facing the food in my palms. There was a black smudge on my hand, and I turned the banana over to find he'd written on the peel with marker:

anxiety attack + snack = :) was scrawled in sharpie.

I chuckled and peeled the banana, eating it on my way back to the office. Arriving, satisfied and admittedly less anxious, I threw the peel in the bin and went upstairs.

-----

Ohhohohohohoooooo 

The story starts to gain some energy! I know that backstory can be a bit tedious but, stick with me on this. As Robin would say: backstory + patience = :)

Anyway, I've decided to update Wednesdays and Fridays now, since I plan on keeping chapters short and sweet. (That is if I don't get carried away, because I'm naturally wordy heh). 

In the meantime, I have a profoundly serious question to ask Wattpad readers. My sister and I were talking about the new Hunger Games movie coming out, and it got me thinking again about how I would do, and would I survive? 

As someone who strongly depends on Peeta Mellark as a comfort character my answer is a CONFIDENT: ... I have no clue. Probably not. XD 

Anyway, how do you think you'd do?

Don't forget to vote, comment, and share <3 I'd love to talk to more of you. 

With love, 

e.g.