Shadow Claw: The Life Story - The First Chapter

Ch. 12 - The Darkness In My Heart

This chapter contains quite a bit of bad language ;D

"...the one..."

"...she's not going to be happy..."

"...tell her..."

"...your fault... always is..."

I woke to a gentle sound of talking in front of me for the second time in twenty-four hours. I blinked the sleep away from my eyes and tipped my head to the side, yawning widely. My teeth flashed in the small slit of light that had crept into the cave with the dawning of the sun.

"Shadow? Are you awake?" Shade's voice filled my ears, and I had to suppress a smile at his morning, husky sound.

I nodded, wincing at a pain in both my wings.' Strange,' I thought suspiciously, craning my neck, only to gasp at my mutilated limbs. I scrabbled to my paws, stretching out my wings painfully to see the full extent of the damage.

Someone or something had broken both the membranes of my wings and the joint bone that jutted out at the end. The holes in the membrane were crusted with dried blood and had not healed at all - not a particular perk of Shadow Claws - we could heal our bodies, except for our wings; they healed slower than a normal human did when it was hurt.

Instead of collapsing to the floor and giving up on everything, I was filled with an anger so pure that it was exhilarating. I snarled, advancing on Shade, "Who the fuck did this!?" I snapped venomously, "Look at my wings!! They're fucked up!!" I yelled, before Shade could say anything.

He growled lowly, most likely unhappy with my disrespect, but he let it slide. For now, anyway. "I woke up in the middle of the night, and it was just... there. I'm sorry, Shadow. I don't know who did it. There's a faint scent, but I'm not one for tracking. I told my parents, Alpha Vulcan and Alpha Adrienne, and they said to ask you about it." He looked slightly afraid of my rage. I mentally cheered.

I folded my throbbing wings to my sides, and lowered my head to the faint scent in the air. I narrowed my purple eyes and padded forwards, checking every now and again that Shade was following.

*

The scent got stronger and stronger as we tracked it further into the woods.

Then it just... stopped.

I clawed a tree in frustration, its bark shredding beneath my claws like paper. I paced back and forth, then shifted into human. I punched the tree once, then cradled it in my arm as the force of my hit backfired and made my knuckles bleed. Humans were so weak!

"Shit! Fuck! Screw this!" I cried, kicking up a pile of leaves. Never in my life had I felt so damn angry.

"Shadow? Are you alright?" Shade mumbled, but I ignored him.

"Fuck this! Fuck you! Fuck me! Fuck the whole universe! I fucking hate life!" I screamed, sinking to my knees and letting the tears flow down my cheeks.

But they never came.

I sighed, getting up and approaching Shade. Our faces were mere inches apart. "I'm going to find this fucker if it's the last thing I fucking do." I hissed, then shifted back and bounded into the forest.

"Where are you going?! Camp's the other way!" Shade called, padding up to me and stopping me in my tracks.

"Hunting." I growled, leaping over him. I was graceful, despite my dark mood.

*

I retracted my claws and spread them again, for what seemed like the hundredth time. I was laying in my cave, slumped to the ground while Shade tended to my wings and other wounds on my sides.

While I was hunting, I had staggered upon a centaur tribe and... well, attacked one of them. What?! They looked really scrumptious and I was angry. Unfortunately, I hadn't considered that they had bows and quivers.

Long story short, I had about three arrows in my side and my wings were still shredded.

I huffed quietly, but Shade seemed to have heard. He sighed, "You had it coming." He muttered. I growled, "Shut it." I snapped, but he obviously did not like that command.

"Do you want me to tend to your wounds or not?!" He yelled, his voice laced with so much authority that my ears flattened and lowered my head to the ground. "I'm sorry... I was angry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." I murmured, turning my head away from him.

His paw slid under my chin and swiveled it back to look at him. "Don't be sorry. I have a bit of an anger issue too." He smirked and I blushed lightly, "Thank you, Shade. Really. Thank you."

"No problem." He moved hesitantly towards me, and licked my cheek after a silent debate in his head about whether he should do it or not.

I froze.

No. No. No. No! This couldn't be happening!

I gaped at him as he padded back to his own cave. I couldn't have a mate! No! No!

No!

I snarled at myself for being so foolish. All the males were the same - just wanting to mate and have kids then die together in some cliche forest fire or something. I scoffed, no way I was doing that.

I forced my conscious into a dark part of my mind, that consumed my whole body, turning my blood to ice and my heart to stone. No feelings. No friends. No happiness. Just numbness. It was a dark thing to do, but I was young and inexperienced - making mistakes was all part of growing and living.

Oh, but how wrong I was.

Turning myself over to the darkness wasn't a mistake, as I would later learn, instead, it would show the real animal inside and reveal to everybody that I wasn't just a nobody.

I was a somebody; I just didn't know it yet.