The Sympathizer

Chapter 21

It all feels too surreal. One look at my mother's hopeful gaze, my father's expectant pout and suddenly it seems more like an ambush than a proposal. 

"Darling, why does it feel like you're hesitating?" Lazarus jokes nervously when I don't reply. He smiles at my parents but I notice his fingers have coiled around the ring like a snake. He's clutching the box so tightly, I fear it might break. 

The quiet in the room is deafening as my parents look on. Servants and attendants wait in intrepid silence close by, unsure if they should serve. Their expressions are as fraught with tension as Lazarus's is. 

My father groans when I stare at the rock. I feel more unsure by the second. "Luna, where are your manners? Don't keep the man waiting."

Lazarus places a palm over my hand, he hasn't budged from his position on the floor, his knee must be hurting. "She must be in shock." 

"I can't give you an answer yet. The stars know I want to say yes, Lazarus. I've wanted to marry you since I was twelve." 

"But?" He asks, voice low, the barely controlled rage I know he has already beginning to surface. 

"But I don't know you the way I want to. Up until today I didn't know you were working on such an ambitious project. That too with my father." 

General Grievous stands up abruptly, his chair screeching against the hard tiled floors. "This is preposterous. There's nothing wrong with working with someone else, especially when my own offspring is evidently immature." 

A few attendants rush closer, ready to steady the chair for him. I see the woman he slept with in his quarters, her hand outstretched, looking like she wants to stop or comfort him. 

General Ursae remains oblivious to it all. 

"Let's talk in private." Lazarus holds on to my arm, pulling me out of the dining hall. "Please excuse us." He nods respectfully to both my parents before dragging me to one of our living rooms used to entertain guests. 

He forces me into an armed chair and places his arms on either side of me. Up close I can see how livid he is. 

"I thought you said you love me. Didn't you say so when I was fucking you against the bathroom walls?" 

My mouth goes dry at how direct his words are. The memory of the feeling of him buried deep inside me making my thighs clench together. Lazarus notices and my cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

"I do love you." I insist. "And I haven't said 'no'."

"But you haven't said 'yes' either." He berates, eyes narrowed on my face. He reaches between my legs with one hand, fingers forcing them apart as he clutches my already throbbing core. 

My eyes widen in shock and I reach down to stop him. "Lazarus, my parents are next door. There are attendants."

But my grip weakens when he starts to stroke me in the way he knows I love. 

"And? Once we are wed, we will rule this planet and I will have you anywhere I want. No one will stop us, no one can." His lips are by my ear, his breath hot against my skin. 

"Anywhere?" I whisper breathless. His fingers move faster, more aggressively, moving to slide under my gown. He groans in satisfaction when he feels how wet I am. 

"The war council room. The grey region. My office and yours. The command centre with all those camera screens. Everywhere." 

My stars. No words have ever turned me on so much. 

"And I will tell you my every plan. My every endeavour, every thought. Once we are wed you will have my heart whole." 

"You will?" I ask, my voice hoarse. He's telling me everything I want to hear and inside I can feel myself building to a climax.