They Call Me Daring

Chapter 15

I felt the paper burn on my nose and ears, the crackle of static zapping through my hair, and then the cold breeze hit my face, blowing my hair back from my face and making me stagger in it's suddenness.
A slow, long gasp of absolute disbelief in it's barest, most naked form, rose from the crowd around me, and I bowed my head in shame.
I had always been the outsider, the wallflower, the person who was afraid to stand out and who was fine with disappearing into the crowd, with not existing. Everybody knew me enough to recognize me, me, the loser younger brother who had been swallowed up by Clark's massive shadow. But none of them knew me. They just knew I was the middle child of the most powerful family in the city, the son of the general who had saved them all when disaster first struck.
"Liam... Oh my God..." Somebody whispered, and I caught fragments of my name running through the crowd. I made myself open my eyes.
A Trackerson? Never!
"How could you?" Somebody shook their head up at me, and the Doc stood beside me, the paper bag limp in his hand, staring at me, not able to believe I could have done this. I stared at my feet, exposed to everyone. Unmasked, obvious and naked.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to ignore the burning in my throat. Crying would be pathetic, now, when I needed to be strong and.... and.... and what?
"Liam... You look different, I thought at first... But no..." The Doc said slowly, disbelief shivering in his voice, dry in the emptiness.
"Hair dye." I blurted quickly, before my voice could crack. He had no idea how different I really was.
He sucked in a breath, his eyes skittering over my face. "Never would I have..." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "For your sake, boy, I hope nobody died today."
"So do I." I muttered so quietly he couldn't hear it.
The Doc set his jaw and opened his mouth again, but just then a man ran up to the him, murmuring hurried words to him. I waited anxiously, trying to ignore the spitting threats, the furtive glances thrown my way. Finally, the Doc straightened up, and cleared his throat for silence.
The murmuring faded like the hum of million whispering flowers in the sudden eye of a storm. The Doc avoided my gaze, as did many others. Angry stares, injured and fearful eyes- They knew I could physically leap off the crate any second and tear them all to pieces. I knew it too. And if I slipped up, and somehow the monster took over, they would all be dead. Instantly. But I needed to hang on, at least until I was away from them all.
Far away.
"Liam Trackerson," The Doc began in a grim voice, wavering ever so slightly. "You have just injured thirteen good, innocent people. Very severely."
Silence.
"I am relieved to tell you there were no deaths," He said, and I watched as people let out held breaths, including me. So I wasn't a killer... Not yet. "But several of the victims will be hospitalized for the next couple of months, in this dangerous time more importantly."
More glances shot in my direction.
"As to how you injured them, that remains to be seen. The weapon-" I cut him off regretfully.
"There wasn't a weapon."
The Doc blinked, staring at me blankly.
"Excuse me?"
"I didn't have any weapon." I said again, my voice grim and torn.
"Then how did...?" The Doc glanced back at me, then shook his head. "Details later. Now to business."
A ripple of sharp breaths ran through the crowd when I suddenly jerked my hand up at a stab of pain from my shoulder. Like they expected me to leap at them any second.
"Liam. Do you accept the price for your actions today?" The question rang through the air, leaving it empty. I more than accepted my actions today. They had rented my mind of it's innocence, pried any fantasy of hope away.
"Yes, I do sir." I said clearly, lifting my head to look up at the silhouette of Trackerson Mansion against the horizon. I needed to tell them the truth, or there would be no chance. I needed to be brave. "But they weren't my actions."
Silence. The Doc cleared his throat. "What.... What exactly do you mean.... Liam?"
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to reveal it, now... But how could I? The moment they knew... I had already proven I wasn't safe to leave near humanity.
"Liam!" My eyes snapped open and began to scan the crowd... And Clark was quite visible, plowing through the throng, a head taller than them all, arms flailing for balance as he muttered quick apologies for knocking people over. "Liam!"
"Clark?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He didn't look like he wanted to pummel me... In fact, he looked anxious. "What-"
"Show them, Liam!" He called from where he was. "Show them your wrist! Tell them!"
I blinked. How did he know? But, with a deep breath, I loosened the broken watch on my wrist, sliding it up my arm and displaying my forearm to the crowd in all it's infected glory. The two holes shown like a pair of blood-red eyes on the ivory skin, the skin around it glowing with a greenish, unhealthy pallor.
Looking confused, people squinted at my arm as I brandished it like a flag. Then, all at once, they seemed to see the bite, with a single collective sharp intake of breath. And then silence, but for the gusting winds howling through the metal skeletons of dead buildings.
"Yeah." I nodded grimly, people wincing as I twisted my arm around for them to get a better look. "Yeah, I'm bitten."
Silence, as people strained to suck up everything. First an unexpected masked savior arrives, then he nearly murders a dozen people. then he's unmasked to reveal an awkward teenage dude, then it turns out he's actually half-way zombified. Try that for an overload.
"Oh, Liam..." The Doc sighed, unable to look away from the bite.
"Suck it up!" I snapped suddenly, and my vision flashed to throbbing red in the sudden strike of anger.
"Liam!" Clark's hand grabbed my arm, hard, and he squeezed until my hand went numb. I blinked, feeling everything turn normal again, and I staggered slightly, but righted myself.
"This... This is hard for me, guys." I managed, blinking to clear my thoughts. Liam. Liam. I am Liam. Not a monster.
"How long...?" The Doc left his question unfinished, let it ring out on the cool air. Horrified silence.
"F-four days." I stammered, slightly dizzy. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. I was turning myself in, condemning myself to be imprisoned for my final days... When every instinct told me to run, to run and run and never look back... Not a monster... I needed to think clearly.
Right now, I needed to be human.
"I've been infected for four days." I raised my voice, watching the rapidly changing expressions of the crowd... Anger, raw terror, pity...
"Four days." I stressed, leaning forward to emphasize. "Four. Whole. Freaking. Days!"
Silence. Clark's grip tightened when I tensed, and I forced myself to relax. He wouldn't hesitate to snap my neck if I lost control. They wouldn't understand... they just couldn't. I needed to be more understanding... Which was hard, because a few seconds ago they'd been threatening to kill my brother.
"Four days I've fought against the disease." I said. "Four days I've struggled to remain human, to remain me. I've been fighting a nonstop battle against myself! And every day, I can feel myself slipping further away. Do you know what that feels like? To feel yourself losing everything that makes you you, every part of human essence, and to keep fighting on? Do you know what that feels like!?" I shouted suddenly, my voice cracking, but I kept myself relaxed, then I realized my eyes were moist.
"No. Of course you don't." I choked. "You couldn't. I didn't... Until it happened."
I took a deep breath. People's mouths opened slightly, as they tried to fool themselves that they knew exactly what I was talking about.
Clark's fingers slipped off my arm, and he nodded to me. Right... Not a monster... Liam.
"Do you know how hard it is to face an impossible battle everyday, and keep on fighting? How hard I have to work every second of every day not to slip away and leave myself like... Well, you just watched it happen..." I took a deep breath. Now was not the time to chicken out, not when I still had a chance. "But I do it. I fight back, because I believe that I can overpower the monster." I closed my eyes. Now or never. "I fight back... because I believe in the cure."