Chapter 30 - Barenin

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"What the hell is he thinking?" Campa shouted.

Alexi slumped in his chair, massaging his cheeks to bring some sensation back into his fatigue-numbed face. Campa leaned against a counter in the small workroom off the engine room. She was doing nothing to help his budding migraine.

"You should be on the bridge," Alexi said. Damon was still pulling far too much from him, though the worst of it had eased off. Campa had come down here because he panted more than talked through the comm, and because she hadn't been able to hold her fear and frustration on the bridge.

Campa waved a hand. "Talk, Alexi. Please. What is Damon doing? And did you tell him to do it?"

"No, and I don't know." Alexi closed his eyes and tried again to reach through to Damon. But Damon had slammed down walls he couldn't penetrate, not as weak as he was. Damn him.

"Isn't he you?" Campa asked. "Aren't you supposed to know what he thinks?"

Alexi looked up. "Doesn't work like that. He has my memories, not my experience--I have his personality, but not his perspective." He paused for breath but held up a hand before Campa could speak. He had to gather his thoughts. "Logically, what he did was a good idea. He showed Kalec what he can do, and from what I can gather, he proceeded to explain. Kalec knows something of Aezthena. I think he will help us. And we need help, Campa. Kaireyeh brought us here for that help."

Campa swore. "I don't like loose cannons. He wasn't like this before."

Alexi huffed a laugh. "How long have you known me, Narya?"

She looked over, frowning. Then she snorted. "Point taken. You've always been a loose cannon." She sighed and leaned more fully against the counter, staring up at the ceiling. Alexi wanted to point out that now would be a good time for her to get back to the bridge, to deal with whatever Damon, and Kalec, and--gods help them--the Aezthena would throw at them, but he didn't. She had been wound so tight these last few weeks in Kaireyeh, they all had. She needed one moment, just a moment, to breathe.

"Were the times ever simpler, was that an illusion, Alexi? Was there ever a time when everything was clear, when all we wanted to do was sick it to Regian Wycliff?" She laughed, a desperate sound. "How did we all look to you, us fools running around on a fool's quest? Alexi, I can't even measure 13,000 years in my head." She gulped for air. And he saw her studying her age-shriveled hands. She was in her fifties, not much older than Luc, but the Miravec had taken decades from her. Kaireyeh had given Alexi lifetimes--Wycliffe had taken what little Campa had left. Alexi could crush Wycliffe for that.

He shifted and took a moment to phrase what he wanted to say. "I've observed and participated in medical turnings of humans to Aezthena. I know the process. I could perform it with the necessary materials."

"Against their wills? Did you do that?" Campa asked, a new ire heating her voice.

Alexi could barely keep his eyes open. He shouldn't be wasting his energy with this, not now.

"Two were against their wills," he admitted. "One medically necessary. One I couldn't interfere with for political reasons."

Campa stilled and looked between his eyes.

Alexi took a breath. "You would have as many years as you like before you. And we would have someone else who can fight on our side."

Campa lost her balance and caught herself on the counter. "No," she said. Then, "Oji's calling." She pressed her comm earpiece and turned away, her mouth a grim line.

Alexi sighed. He had offered, at least. And he hadn't thought she'd take it. He wasn't sure he'd want her to. Even after the Aezthena had solved the issue that drove them mad, it had never been an easy transition. Damon was taking it well only because he was riding off of Alexi's memories and instincts, but underneath, Alexi knew he was screaming.

Campa turned back to him. "Damon's coming back in a shuttle, and Kalec's asking for me." She headed for the hatch. "Come on. Walk as best you can."

"To the bridge?" Alexi asked, straining to stand up.

Campa grunted and grabbed a hover cart by one wall. She kicked it open. "Ride it. I'm going to the bridge, you're going to the hangar deck. Get everything you can from Damon."

Alexi didn't argue.He wanted to know what had happened as much as she. And he wanted to tell hisyounger self what an idiot he had been.

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