STAY

17.

I didn't go to school for the rest of the week after the fighting incident at school. I had already made up my mind about not telling my parent what happened. I just pretended to be sick.

I couldn't eat or do anything else than stay at home. If I wasn't lying in bed all day I would've either done my homework that mom and dad would bring home, or take care of Jacob. I figured that since I was at home, Angelica could take every second day off from babysitting him. I was basically only at home. I didn't even take the trips to the library anymore, because I knew that he might be there. It scared me. To know that he had been so close to me during several occasions and I hadn't notice anything.

During the time that I spent at home, I had had Daniella call me once in a while. I had talked to her a bit, but not much. One evening she and Christina appeared in front of my door with popcorn and movies, so we decided to have a small girls' night together. However the awkwardness between me and Christina was unavoidable, and when she finally said she was sorry for leaving me alone, I didn't know what to answer. I wasn't mad at her anymore. Something inside of me told me that it wasn't entirely her fault. But it hurt. It hurt to know that if she would've stayed with me, it might've never happened. I couldn't say anything else than that it was okay. When they had left, I was home alone with Jacob. My parents were trying to be home early to make sure that I wasn't alone too much when I was sick, but it made no difference. I was home alone a lot anyway. Especially in the evening.

Jacob could usually distract me, when he needed a diaper change or when I needed to feed him and put him to bed. But when he went to sleep at around 7PM I was terrified. I walked around the house making sure that all the windows and doors were locked.

During the days were I stayed at home, I noticed that Michael had called a couple of times. I didn't answer him. I wanted to be alone. Even though I missed seeing him and talking to him, I knew things couldn't be the same. I knew our friendship wouldn't be the same anymore. Even though I was still attracted to him, everything had changed when he decided to stop supporting me. I knew that I was asking for a lot by a guy that barely knew me, but I couldn't help feeling this way. I wasn't only angry. I was hurt. I felt alone.

***

One evening, I was sitting in the sofa with Jacob, when the doorbell suddenly rang. At first, I wasn't sure if should answer it. I stayed still and turned the TV off. Jacob looked at me, but he was also quite.

"Oliva...", I heard a similar voice from the door. Was it him?

"It's me... Can you please open?"

When the doorbell rang another time, I walked up to the door, with Jacob sitting on my hip. I walk towards the kitchen window, where I knew that I could perfectly see the person that was knocking. When I noticed the familiar hair and his leather jacket, I gave out a sigh of relief and walked towards the door. I wasn't sure if I should open it at first, but then I finally do.

I didn't say anything at first. I was shocked. What was he doing here?

"Hey", he started and look down at me.

"Hey", I whispered back.

"Are you home alone?", he asked me in a tone I couldn't put words on. Was he surprised, or worried, or maybe even relieved if I was home alone?

I nodded.

"Can I come in?"

I nod again. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I simply wasn't able to say anything at all.

When I close the door behind us, Michael turns his gaze to Jacob who's looking up at Michael, as admiringly as he did the first time.

When Michael grabs Jacob's cheek, the little boy starts giggling while he is grabbing for Michaels hands at the same time. The view is adorable and it makes me feel warm.

When Michael finally turns to look at Oliva, something has changed in his eyes. He looks worried.

"I'm sorry...", he starts. "I... I just had to see you. Make sure that you were okay... I was dead worried about you. And I was scared that..."

"That he would've gotten to me?", I asked and raised my eyebrows. I could already feel the coldness coming to me and the only thing I could hold on to right now was Jacob, who was now randomly playing with my hair.

Michael stares at me, without saying anything at first, but then he starts talking again. "You're still angry at me, aren't you?"

"What do you expect?", I say and walked into the kitchen and put Jacob down in his chair. "I was expecting some kind of comfort from someone. That someone was you! There was a reason that I called you instead of calling someone else..."

"I still don't get why you called me out of all people..." ', he whispers as he walks into the kitchen. My heart stops beating for a second. I didn't know what to answer to that. I decided to ignore the statement.

"You're the only person that know what... what was happening. What he could've done-", my voice broke. I didn't even realize that I had started crying until two tears fell down my cheek. Michael is just looking at me, but I can't stop now. It's too late.

"And what happens? When I try to find you, when I need you, you're just not there", I say and turn around, not able to face him anymore.

"I really want to help you...", he whispers and I can hear him being much closer to me now. "but it's only going to make things worse..."

I turn around and realize he is right behind me. "It can't get any worse than it already is", I say and look up at him with tears in my eyes. He looks down at me, and for a moment, for a slip second, I thought he was going to kiss me. The butterflies start to grow in my stomach and my pulls starts raising. But instead, Michael leans down and pulls me into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry...", he whispers as he pulls me closer to him. "Maybe I shouldn't be here, maybe I'm making it worse...", he starts but I cut him off by shaking my head.

"Don't go", I beg him. "My parents aren't going to be home until tomorrow afternoon, and I don't want to be alone the whole night".

"Do they..." he starts, still having me in his arms.

I shake my head. "No, I'm pretending to be ill when they are home"

"You should come back to school Olivia", he starts. I shiver at the mentioning of my name. "I was starting to worry when you didn't come back..."

"Stay and I will go to school tomorrow", I say. He pulls away from the hugs and looks me deeply in the eyes, to see if I'm being honest or not.

"Okay, I will stay"

"Thank you", I smile and before I know it I'm standing on my tip toes, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

The second I realize what I'm doing, I back away from him and walk over to Jacob. I don't know what flew into me, but the urge to be close to him was burning inside of me. I guess it didn't matter that he had left me alone in this for some time, I still wanted him to be close.