#13 :: Who Killed Me?

30.

Sanchez

It was Tuesday and we were still here. After being interrogated early hours on Monday morning the police let us go to the B&B and we hadn't heard from them since. Other than the police car that stays parked outside, I'm guessing so we don't try to run away.

Everyone has their own room and no one has really communicated. I go in to check on Eddie but he refuses to talk to anyone. He's taking the death of Jazmine really bad. It was hard to take in when we were all being accused of murdering her but now we've actually been here in this poxy bedsit it's sunk in that she's gone and she won't be coming back. It also means two children are without a mother. It also means I've got a lot of explaining to do. I decided to go and talk to both Zack and Sariyah at the same time. Sariyah wasn't in her room but when I went to Zacks room they were both there.

"Go away," Zack said.

"Look... Zack, I know you're mad at me, but I want.. No. I need to talk to you both. You lot need to hear this from me. I don't want you hating your mum. I don't want you thinking your mum hated you. Just let me say my piece and if you still want me to go after I will. Okay?"

"Let's hear him out Zack.. he's the only parent we got left."

"I'll hear him out but he ain't no father of mine. I have no father." Zack said angrily.

That hurt, but I can understand why he would say that.

"So, your mother and I we were together first but I was young and dumb and slept with your aunt. Of course that ruffled feathers between your aunt and your mum. I ended up being with Rose because Jazmine became way too crazy for me. But even though I was with Rose I couldn't stay away from Jazmine. She's the one I've always loved and that's never changed; so we had an affair for years and during that period Jazmine fell pregnant. When she fell pregnant it was just after Dwight went back to the army. So as far, as anyone was concerned she was pregnant for Dwight. When it got closer to Jazmine giving birth she panicked because Dwight was 1000 miles across the world and I was with Rose. She said she did not want to do this on her own, she couldn't do this on her own not with twins anyway. At this time we had already found out that Rose was unable to have children so that's when Jazmine decided to give one of her twins to Rose. Well she only did that because I was with Rose and I wanted one of my children in my life that would actually get to call me dad. Before Jazmine got pregnant we spoke about kids and Jazmine always said she wanted a boy first. I said I definitely want a girl so she could be daddies little girl it was nothing against either of you. It just it made it easier for us when we found out we was having one boy and one girl. Well that's what we thought. But when it actually came to giving birth Jazmine cried because she didn't want to give up her daughter. I promised her I would take good care of her and I did. Sariyah, from the day you was born up until this weekend not a day went by when Jazmine didn't ask for you. I've lost count the amount of times she just wanted to confess and have you both as hers as it should of been. Zack... I know you hate my right now and I don't blame you. I should have been a bigger and better man and stepped up to being a father to you both. I should have dealt with the consequences at the time and given Jazmine what she always begged me for. For us four to be a family. Now... now she's gone and that will never happen. I just don't want you hating her or thinking she hated you. You lot was always her priority. It didn't help she carried a lot of secret and heartache due to what happened with Eric. Regardless she loved you both dearly. That's the honest truth. As for me... I was a coward. I didn't want to be judged. I didn't want to be the one to ruin the family but I guess this family was ruined ages ago. I'm sorry I lied to you both and I'm sorry I haven't been there to be a father to you. I know right now you most probably hate me Zack but I hope one day you do find it in your heart to forgive me. I know you're a good man and I know you have a good heart. That's all I have to say. I'll leave now." I said as I got up.

"Dad wait!" Sariyah said as I turned to her.

"Yes princess?"

"I'll find it in my heart to forgive you on two conditions..."

"What's that?"

"One - no more lies dad. No more! Okay?"

"Okay. I promise you no more lies. This is everything. What's your second condition?"

"Two - Legally, we change my name back to Zariyah. Zack was telling me that's why Jaz..Mum had two Zs tattooed on her hand."

"Yeah... we both do. Well mines on my wrist."

"Wait. You have one?" Zack asked.

"Yeah." I said as I rolled up my sleeve.

"I meant what I said Zack. I'm sorry. I do love you. You're my son and I know I messed up. I can't make up for the years gone but I'll make up for the rest of the years we have left." I said.

Zack got up and hugged me. He cried in my arms and Zariyah followed suit.

"I can't believe she's gone." Zack sobbed.

"I know I know. It just don't seem real I expect her to walk through the door with all that attitude she had but I know she won't and that's what hurts the most. Knowing we'll never see her again. This is why I needed to make things right with you guys. I need you guys to forgive me. If not for ourselves then at least for your mum."

"It's going to take some time getting used to. Zariyah has always been like a sister to me. But you've gone from Uncle to dad. Bare with me but I'll get there in the end."

"That's all I can ask for... that's all I can ask." I said as we all hugged again.

********************