𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

.mma 2016.

My stylist patted an extra layer of foundation on my face while we waited backstage as we were up next to perform.

It was 2 minutes before we had to go up and Namjoon called all of us for his regular pep talk. After that we did our handshake and went up, where a white sheet would cover us until the beginning of Blood, Sweat & Tears started. The dance went smoothly as practiced as the lights and fireworks bursted all around us. ARMY cheered the fanchant from the crowd that calmed my nerves a bit.

Suddenly, as the second chorus started at the part where we had to kick our foot back, my heel slipped a bit and my ankle bent, sending a sharp pain. I tried to ignore it and push through until the end of the song, which I luckily did. The intro for Fire then begun, people waving huge poles of fire around, giving us the time to run back behind the big screen. The boys started to jog to the needed area but as I tried to move, my ankle decided to be a bitch again and I quickly covered my microphone and groaned in pain.

Jin noticed and went up to me. "You okay?", He asked worriedly looking at me lean down to my left ankle. I wanted to shake it off but the pain was nearly unbearable so I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes. Even if it was dark his frantic expression was as clear as day to me. The rest of the boys had already went behind the screen so it was just us.

Jin suddenly turned around and picked me up, giving me a piggy back ride down to the staff who looked at us confused. He dropped me slowly and briefly explained what happened. Before I was carried away I grabbed Jin's arm and told him, "Keep going without me."
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Apparently the damage was so bad they had to take me to a nearby clinic to get a X-ray to check if I had fractured my ankle. We had to wait about half an hour as it was surprisingly busy but we finally got it. Luckily, it wasn't a fracture but any more strain to it and it could've been one. The doctor wrapped a cast around it and advised not to apply any pressure for at least 3 weeks. My manager helped me with my crutches into the van.

"Well obviously you're not going back. I'm sending you home to your dorm", he told me and I nodded sadly. The boys must've been so confused and scared when I didn't join them for the Fire performance. Hopefully Jin was fast enough to tell them, I thought and slept on the way back.

It was difficult, but I managed to shower and changed into pyjamas. The crutches were so heavy for my frail whimpy body so I only used on of them to drag me around the dorm.

After what felt like centuries I finally got to the couch and reached towards the remote. I suddenly remembered about the MMA and clicked on to the channel. There BTS stood on stage, holding a daesang.

We won...but why wasn't I ecstatic?

After all the hardships, the sacrifices, the pain we went through to even get number one on M Countdown, it proved to have payed off when receiving that trophy. And I wasn't even there to celebrate with them...

I turned off the TV, not bearing to watch anymore and pathetically crawled into my room where I bawled my eyes out on the floor next to my closed door.
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"Marin-ah!", I heard Hoseok's worried voice echo through the house. Footsteps got louder and louder until Jimin opened my room door, seeing me sat on the bed crossed legged and head hung low. I peeked up and saw that all the members were at my door, already changed out of their sweaty MMA outfits and now in t-shirts and hoodies.

"Rinnie are you okay?", Taehyung pushed past the boys and cupped his hand to my cheek, looking down at my cast bug-eyed.

"You guys got a daesang", I said in a hoarse voice from all the crying hours before. I looked up to show them a weak smile, not caring that they were able to see my puffy eyes. "Congratulations."

"Hey, what do you mean 'you guys'? We won a daesang", Yoongi emphasized the 'we'. I shook my head disagreeing with them.

"But I wasn't even there", I whispered almost close to crying again. Taehyung sat next to me and cradled me in his arms, his body comforting and warm. The boys let themselves in and sat around me, some on the bed and on the floor.

"Marin, please don't let that bring you down. I'm sorry about what happened to your ankle but you were there; in spirit", Namjoon assured.

"Yeah, I could actually hear your startled laugh as if you were right next to me", Jin said trying to lighten the mood that was successful of breaking a small smile on my lips.

"And, with Manager-nim and Bang PD-nim's permission of course," Yoongi started. Jungkook suddenly pulled out the gold MMA trophy that I didn't even realize he was hiding from behind his back and held it out to me. "We agreed to let you keep the daesang", the brunet said smiling.
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It was time for the MAMA awards and unfortunately I still had my cast on so I was prepared to laze around in the dorm, but somehow, the boys were able to persuade Bang PD-nim and our manager to let me come, on the condition that I obviously don't perform, I don't join them on the red carpet and I only stay at the artists seating area. With the work they put to make me come I couldn't say no when they told me I was allowed to. On the bright side, it gave the stylist the chance to dress me in an elegant floor length dress.

The boys were outside taking pictures at the carpet while I came from the back and with the help of the staff I was brought to the seating area. Other groups and artist who were already there were shocked to see me and I had to repeat over and over again as to why I was there and not resting. I did appreciate all the 'get well soon's though.

Although it was sad that I wasn't able to perform with the boys, it was cool to see them perform live as part of the audience. The cameras kept panning to me when I would lip sync my parts of the song, the ARMYs in the crowd going wild. When BTS performance ended I saw the sly maknae face my direction and shot a finger heart.

It was time for the awards and I didn't realize my death grip on Jimin's hand, apologizing a bit later.

"And the daesang goes to...", The MC said, pulling out the card.

"Bangtan Seonyeondan!"

We were all overwhelmed and group hugged to support each other. I didn't think we would have gotten another daesang but there we were. I shoo'ed the men to go get our reward and they laughed and obliged. I saw Jungkook suddenly stop in his track and grabbed Jin's arm, whispering something in his ear. With a grin, they both started heading their way back to me.

"Wait guys--", they cut me off by hooking their arms under my thighs and behind my back and carried me like I was sitting on a throne. They ignored my protests to be put down as they walked over to join the rest of the members, who were laughing at us. With tears in his eyes, Namjoon began his speech.

I sat there quietly with my eyes watery as well as the moment sunk in. I turned to check the rest of the boys and saw that Yoongi was covering his mouth holding in his sobs. Hobi was there to comfort him but naturally I held my arm out to him. Jin and Jungkook noticed and carried me over to the raven haired man where I was able to wrap my hand around his shoulder, making the fans go crazy and the boys laugh a little.

After that we straight away went backstage where our manager started to scold Jin and Jungkook about carrying me and breaking the deal they had made. I was sitting on the couch chuckling at their situation while comforting Yoongi who was still in some tears.