Love Me Please (Larry Stylinson)

16

The pledge who's been given night duty minding the door eyes him wearily.

Louis' mind is a mess but he has to get to his soulmate. He has to make sure he's okay. "I need to see Styles."

"Who?"

"Harry," Louis bites.

"And who are you?"

"An acquaintance."

"Sorry, no can do." He shuts the door.

Well, almost shuts it. Louis stops it with his hand first, fingers spread as wide as they will go, pressing hard against the old wood. He grits his teeth, about two seconds away from forgoing formalities and just barging inside by use of force. Excessive force. Any force. "I'm his soulmate."

There's a heavy pause where the pledge tips his chin in curiosity. Meanwhile, Louis jitters impatiently, calculating the best way to shove inside. "Really?" he asks, interested, like he's heard a lot about Louis and is now curious to see the kind of person he really is. "I need to see your mark to let you in."

Louis rolls his eyes and yanks his scarf down hastily, feeling stupid. He's never shown it to anyone, not even his mother. The feeling of unfamiliar eyes on a part of him so humiliating and personal makes his skin crawl. "Will you let me in, then?"

"That's an interesting mark," the pledge muses, partly casual but mostly inquisitorial, as if he feels entitled to such conversation. Slow and relaxed like he has all the time in the world to investigate and discuss, when Louis is standing right there demanding to be let in immediately because it's a god damn emergency. "Usually they're not that big, right? Does it bother you?"

The glare Louis levels him with is enough to get him to open the door and let him in. He practically runs up the stairs and down the hall. Not knowing which room is his is difficult but when he listens closely he can hear someone crying on the other side of the last door on the left. Louis would bet his life that that's his soulmate. The door is unlocked and he pushes inside, closing it behind him without even thinking.

The room is dark aside from the fairy lights above the messy bed. It's such a girly thing, it almost makes Louis pause. His soulmate is standing in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection. One arm is wrapped around his stomach like he's hugging himself and the other is covering his ear. Tears are streaming down his face and his skin is splotchy and red. He's breathing heavily, nearly hyperventilating, and shifting back and forth on his feet.

Louis' mouth drops open at the sight of him. "H-Harry?"

He whirls around at the sound of Louis' voice. "Lou?"

"What's wrong?"

Louis has never seen him like this before. Never seen him cry, never seen him completely break down. He's confused, and wonders what happened to set him off like this, and why there's an ache in his heart like he's feeling the exact same thing.

He surprises him by stumbling across the room and crumbling into Louis' arms. Louis has no choice but to catch him and wrap his arms around him to hold him up.

He thinks that maybe Harry's having a panic attack.

"I'm sorry," he sobs, sniffling into Louis' neck and getting tears and snot and spit everywhere. Louis hardly cares or even notices. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"What for, love?" he asks softly, rubbing his back. Supporting all of his weight is getting tiresome so he begins to slowly walk them to the bed. His hands are shaking and he feels sick to the stomach because something is wrong and he doesn't know what.

"I just- I don't know what's happening, but it just- All of a sudden everything felt like... I don't know what-" he hiccups, "I don't know what I did wrong, but I- I'm so sorry- I'm so sad- I just want you to love me. W-what's happening?"

"You're having a panic attack," Louis answers quietly, feeling a lot less sure than he sounds. "Do you have them often?"

"It's never- Never happened before-"

"Alright, it's okay. We'll get you to calm down, and everything will be okay. Just hang on. We'll get through this."

He gets Harry to sit down on the bed and sits down beside him, keeping his arm around his shoulder. Harry reaches out and fumbles around, searching for something. It isn't until his hand finds Louis' that he understands. He interlaces their fingers and holds his hand tightly, both of them shaking too much for it to be healthy.

Louis holds him until he falls asleep, still crying.