Star Wars IX- The Rise of Skywalker

Chapter 17- Reconciliation

In a stark white room, Kylo stood above a case upon a table. The Resistance had provided him with the room for the brief time he'd be with them. He'd been surprised at the offer when he'd attempted to return to his ship. This room was near Dr Kalonias' residence and the medical bay, and that was reflected by its outward appearance- clean and sterile. It suited Kylo's needs, which were solitary confinement; he had no desire to mingle with members of the Resistance. Kylo had laid the case he'd brought from the Finalizer upon the table and opened it. The cover split in half and parted slowly downwards with a mechanical hum. Inside were the scorched remnants of his grandfather's helmet. Except Darth Vader had never really been his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, the man who'd saved his son and overthrown his master. That was his real grandfather. This helmet should have no hold over him, but his memories of that voice calling to him, showing him his path, speaking to him of his desires were hard to forget. The room's doors hissing open, making him shut the case abruptly. Kylo knew Rey was the one at the door before she barged through it.

"Ben.."

"Please stop calling me that," he cut her off without turning to look at her.

She sighed, annoyed at him. "That is the name of your true self; you've only forgotten."

"No." He turned to face her now. "I've not forgotten. I know exactly who I am. I am not Ben Solo. I have not turned, and I never will. I will always be of the dark. This is who I am."

They were close to each other, their conversation more of a heated argument without raised voices. Kylo hated that Rey did this, that she could do this. Cause him to question everything, get under his skin.

"You aren't Kylo Ren either. You're not wholly of the dark. You are of the light too fractured, split. You always have been."

He paused, considering a moment. She was right. "I'm both, and I'm neither."

"The resolving of Grey through refined Jedi sight," she replied. It was what Suncas had said on Pasaana. His mouth gave the slightest twitch of a smile, but Rey saw it and openly smiled back. She took a step closer to him so that he stood above her, peering down at her.

"You can't fix me, Rey."

"No, I can't; only you can do that, but I learnt to do two things well on Jakku. One was to fix broken things. The other was to wait. I will wait for you to fix yourself."

No matter their impassioned positions in such close proximity to each other, any argument, verbal or otherwise, couldn't be maintained. Their physical battles had always hinted at this lack of desire to cause real harm to the other because of this connection between them. It would be like hurting yourself. Being around each other gave such solace and relief. She reached out, brushing his fingers with her own. Electricity flickered and sparked between them as skin touched.

Rey was not giving up on the subject entirely, "Leia wants to see you."

"No."

"Ben..," she began again.

"No," he harshly cut her off again, stepping back from her, "I cannot give her that. Hope of my return, my turning back to the light, a reunion. I can't do that; it's not fair."

"But you have returned," Rey pleaded.

"No. I'm working with you but do not belong here or with the Resistance. I do not belong anywhere."

She stepped forward, now closing the space between them, placing her hand on his chest. Through her fingers, he could feel that electric tingle, the opposite sides of the Force sparking at their physical contact. She gazed up into his face imploringly, and it made his breath hitch in his throat.