Thoughts Of Me, Sorry.

Fire

Oh my dear friend, allow me to hold you close. As the flames licked your tears and you gather in fear, let me hold you close. Don't open your eyes, don't let the light blind your sight. Dreams crushed and I have fallen, demons rushed, and helped me cave in. But you, who the fuck are you, I hold you, grasp you, remember you..your smell, your crimsoned eyes and silencing smile. How do I protect myself when I protect you,  the heat rips into my back, and I feel my skin boil. Slowly it makes its way in feeding on my core as if it was made of coal. I open my eyes to look at you again in a ball you confide. As if the warmth is something from inside, the pain whips me back and I give in to the fire.
..
I wake up sweating and tired. 9 hours of rest was 9 hours of terror. I roll over and see my new world. The walls slowly ember and I begin to feel my chest rise, I close my eyes and pray it's just a dream. Within the black I see the dance of light. I smell the burning wood. I taste the sour smoke. I open my eyes and see the white wall. I dress grab a smoke and hit the door. The flick of the lighter catches my glance.  As sparks fall so do parts of my heart. Each breath of each burning ember fills my lungs and tears my head to shreds. I stumble in and continue inside my blurred lines of reality. Today my mind tends to stay inside the fire. Malice fills my heart and destroys my love for others. And I envy those who haven't yet felt what this world can do. There's no way I can come back, and be as happy as I'm supposed to. I am falling apart. Skipping beats. I'm hoping I'm going to fall into, this spare part reality and learn to fix my heart. Because I keep breaking down and I never make scars. Life reopened my wounds and I'm bleeding out my fears and drowning in my own tears.