Bombshells ~ Complete

Chapter Fifty-Two: It Was All My Fault

The seconds ticked by as my father's face smoothed into a mask of peace. He was the perfect picture of serenity. But I knew it was only just a front. He was blazing mad on the inside and fighting down the urge to kill me. I could only look at him, fear tunneling my vision. 

"So that's what you really think, huh?" Father asked, chuckling manically. I shook my head, the ends of my hair hitting my cheeks with a stinging sensation, that was how hard I was shaking my head. 

"Elliot, please, leave her alone. I'll do whatever you want me to. Money, a place to stay, a way out of the country. Just... Please don't hurt her." Lila implored, looking at my father with wide, pleading eyes.

His fist slammed right under her rib-cage.

I winced, knowing how badly that hurt. Those types of punches normally hurt me the most. I wanted to say something, but it felt like my mouth was glued shut. But the boys mouths were very open, seeing as how they were screaming every single curse they could think of. 

"We had a deal." I snapped, glaring at my father. The whole kitchen went silent at my words. It was like waiting for a volcano to explode. And my father was the volcano. 

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, but she spoke up. Now everyone needs to calm down. Let me think." Father pressed his hands to the sides of his head, squeezing his eyes shut. It looked like he was having a really hard time focusing on the problem on hand, which was that he had kidnapped everyone who lived with him. 

He suddenly flicked open his favorite pocket knife and cut the ropes that tied me to the chair. I shook my head, fear filling me to the brim. But not for the reasons that had my brothers protesting. 

"Not in front of them." I begged, urging him with my eyes to not beat me in front of them. They'd never forgive themselves if they figured out what was happening between my father and I. I didn't want them to feel that type of guilt. 

"That wasn't stated explicitly. No, no, no." Father giggled. I struggled to take a deep breath, the terror paralyzing my lungs. I didn't know what to do, and then I could do nothing. 

The pain was instantaneous. Blinding and crippling pain.

His foot landed in my gut, making my body jerk with each sudden shock. My face was blank, my eyes free of tears, my mouth free from screams. I felt nothing. I heard nothing. His fists rained down on my back and front, breaking and bruising and cutting. Everything that hurt. 

It was only when he went into the kitchen to grab a nice steak knife to cut me up with, did I move. I sat up, grimacing and hissing through my teeth. I held my ribs, tears welling up in my eyes from the throbbing pain. 

"Ariel! I have a present!" My father's excited screech had tears rolling down my cheeks. I bit my lip to keep the hysterical sob inside. My whole world was coming down around me. 

Everything I tried to hide was being revealed. 

And my father was enjoying it. 

How could someone be so incredibly sick? So twisted in their own mind?

He bounced back in the room, a shiny knife in hand. His lips were curled up into a cold smile, seeing as how he was going to enjoy every second of pain that I went through. The boys were straining in their seats, but even their hoarse screams of outrage had become muted to my ears. All I could focus on was the past sixteen years of my life. I had been holding in so much pain and now that I was being beaten in front of everyone, all that pain wanted to come out. 

Father hushed them all, yelling some threat or something like that. I didn't want to know. It would make me sick to know that he used my life or Jaydon's life or Lila's life to quiet them. 

I let this happen.

This was all my fault. 

I deserved everything.

All this pain.

All this agony.

Everything. 

Because it was all my fault. Just like my mom's death. Just like Kas's death. Just like every single day that Jaydon spent weighed down because of the guilt of not telling anyone. Just like how Lila's betrayal filled her veins to the brim.

It was all my fault. And I knew that. 

"Please." I whispered. Father leaned closer to me and silence wrapped around the kitchen. 

"Please what?" Father asked, a gleeful expression on his face. He knew he broke me. I had never let my father take my will to live. And now he had. 

"Kill me. Please." I breathed. The words caused a choked gasp to escape someone. My father's chuckles were all I could really pay any attention to.

He wasn't going to kill me. He never was. He was like a mouse, playing with me and then letting me heal, only to come back and destroy me all over again. All I wanted was for him to destroy me for the last time. I just wanted to be gone. 

"Now why would I do that?" He asked with a small smile. I breathed in deeply, angrily. I was so angry that he wouldn't kill me. Why wouldn't he just kill me?

"You've been killing me for sixteen years." I whispered. "Just kill me!" I screamed. 

Father backed away, stunned into being quiet by the rage sparking in my eyes. His hand clenched tightly around the knife that he brought down into my leg. 

I opened my mouth in a silent wail of pain. Tears raced down my face, fighting for the chance to drop off my chin first. The muted sobs made my chest heave, making my breathing even more difficult. 

I had been through the process of such pain many times before, but this time was different.

This time my family was watching; the very same family I tried to protect.

This time I had a family. 

This time I had asked for it.

This time I was broken. 

This time I wanted to die.