The One and Only Alec | bxb

10: She Heard a Rumor (Pt. 2)

*Jake*

Well, shit.

There's a reason I'm not out. It's almost too much pressure. The queer people who are open about it put up with so much shit on a daily basis. Not everybody is conventionally mean about it, but that's what makes it so much more unbearable.

It's never an outright, "I think it's gross that you're gay." Nope. It's the ever subtle, "I love that you're so proud to be you, but you don't have a crush on me, right?" or "I don't have an issue with gay people, but I'd prefer it if my future kids are straight." and "I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable with you sleeping over at my house because you might hit on me."

I like blending in. I like being mistaken for that one straight theater kid.

There is violent homophobia as well. I live in Arizona, it isn't the most progressive state. Half the kids here go to seminary and are told on a daily basis that being anything other than cis-het means you'll burn in Hell.

I don't want to be out. I don't need to explain myself.

It wouldn't matter if everybody was accepting. If I don't want to be out then I don't have to be out, end of discussion. Whoever this Maeve girl is has no right to tell anybody. Nor does anybody else. My sexuality isn't another one of my personality traits waiting to be discovered.

I don't care if that random kid in the hall knows I'm gay, but what if that random kid suddenly decides that the look I'm giving him is too seductive and decides to beat the shit out of me?

I realize that I've said none of this out loud and Alec is still staring at me, eyebrows furrowed, waiting for my response. "I don't want that," I say barely above a whisper.

"I know," he says. "But, I was thinking, if Maeve were to out you--"

"I don't want that," I repeat louder. "She can't do that. Nobody is allowed to do that."

He nods sharply. "Right, sorry." He clears his throat. "So, um, Maeve had a sort of proposition. Like, if I did this thing for her, she wouldn't tell anybody."

"What was it?"

"Go out with her. Well, actually date her, I guess."

I don't say anything. This is a complete train wreck and I don't know what I'm feeling other than complete panic. "You don't have to do that."

"I know," he says. Something pushes my head so that I'm looking at him and I know it was his telekinesis. His voice gets softer, almost sweeter. "I won't let her do this, okay? You know I would never let that happen. You do know that, right?"

"Yeah," I murmur.

"Good, because, Jake, I won't let anything happen to you."

"Yeah," I say again. My face is burning and I want to look away but he still has an invisible grip on my jaw. He reaches up and wipes my cheek. I didn't realize I was crying. "I really don't want her to--"

Alec cuts me off. "I know." He looks around, back to the cheerleaders, where Maeve is still staring him down. She has a sly smirk that I absolutely cannot stand. I can tell he wants to do something to comfort me. A hug perhaps. He holds back, which I'm thankful for.

He seems to remember that he's holding my face in his direction and he flicks his wrist. I take a shaky step backwards before turning and walking back up the bleachers. He doesn't try to stop me.

-

*Alec*

God, I could kill her right now. With the flick of my wrist I could choke her to death and nobody would know it was me.

-

*Jake*

I collapse back onto the metal seat beside Viv. She immediately notices that something is wrong, taking my arm and wrapping it around her shoulders, scooting against me, and resting her head in the crook of my arm. "Jake," she mutters, "What happened?"

Oh, nothing much. It's just that some cheerleader is blackmailing my wannabe-boyfriend, using me as bait. My life has turned into a Becky Albertali novel in the span of five days. What kind of Love, Simon bullshit is this?

I sniff slightly, brushing her hair with my fingers. How do I explain?

"You can tell me later," she says. "Do you want to leave?"

I shake my head. Even if I wanted to ditch, Alec is our ride home.

I pull out a pair of horribly tangled earbuds, handing one side to Viv and putting the other in my ear. I put a playlist on shuffle and "You Gotta Die Sometime" from Falsettos comes on. I turn the volume all the way up, trying to drown out everything going on around me. The song, although being ultimately sad, seems to calm me down. Sure, I'm not dying of AIDs, but Andrew Rannells' words fit the predicament I've found myself in in a morbid sort of way.

The tears return to my eyes during the oddly sensual part because it makes me think of how Alec must be feeling. I skip to the next song. Caitlin Kinnunen's "Just Breathe" comes on. The tears worsen in less than five seconds. Giving the phone to Viv, she switches it to Queen. Because who can be sad while listening to Queen?

Me, apparently. I spend the next thirty minutes wondering how Freddie Mercury felt when he told the rest of the band that he was bi. Did he feel bad? Did they ever hate him for it? Will everybody hate me when Maeve goes through with this scheme?

The loud buzzer sounds again, the scoreboard proudly displaying that the home team won. At least something's going correctly.

I don't move, keeping my arm tightly around Viv so that she gets the memo. We stay there, earbuds blasting "Radio Ga Ga" until the stands are empty and only a few people are left on the field.

Alec, bag slung over his broad shoulder, water bottle in hand, jogs up to us. His throat bobs and he just stands there until I realize he's waiting for me to take the headphone out of my ear. I comply.

He slides next to me and Viv sits up, shimmying away slightly, putting my newly discarded side of the headphones into her other ear.

"Are you alright?" Alec asks.

No. No I am not. "Yeah." Then he pulls me against his chest, resting his chin on my shoulder, running his hand along my back, and my eyes start watering again because my tear ducts are traitors.

It's too hot to be hugging him and he's all sweaty but I don't pull away. Instead, I wrap my arms around him, burying my head in his neck. We don't say anything. Just sit there for a good two minutes, holding each other.

He pulls back slightly. His eyes are bright and looking bluer than usual because they're bloodshot. He was crying as well? "Still up for a night out?" he asks, voice low.

"Please," I reply. He sits back, raising a hand to wipe my cheeks.

He stands, holding his hand out for me. Vivian hands my phone back and I shove it into my back pocket. "You ready to tell me what's up?" she says as we walk to the parking lot.

I shake my head. "I'll text you."

And with that Alec takes her home, his hand holding mine tightly the whole way. When Viv thanks him and leaves the car, he turns to me. "Where to?'

I don't know. I'm trying really hard to not think about Maeve and her platinum hair.

"Are you hungry?" Alec asks and I nod slowly. He leans across the center console, kissing my forehead gently. "Okay."

-

A/N: I'm oddly proud of this section.

I have realized that I suck at writing in the same tense. This entire story constantly switches between past and present and y'all just have to deal with it.

I changed the cover just because I felt like it. There's really nothing significant about it, I might draw one with actual characters on it.

Pretty please leave a vote if you're enjoying this mess :)