With All Your Heart

21~Trust in Him

That night they took turns watching Parker and giving him coconut water.

Josh had just returned from soaking Dani's bandana in the ocean and placing it on Parker's head when he heard someone behind him. "Hey. What are you doing up?"

"Can't sleep." Annie's eyes drifted to Parker. "How's he doing?"

"Ok, I guess." He watched her sit in the sand near him, her forehead puckered with worry lines. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I just—" She stopped suddenly, and with a deep sigh looked away. "I need to stop picking up burdens I've laid at the Lord's feet."

He wished he trusted in a god to help with problems, but Josh was still uncertain. "Anything you want to share?"

"Tommy."

Tears filled her eyes. "Ah, Annie." He pulled her into a hug. "You've got to stop blaming yourself."

"It hurts my heart." She sniffled. "Thanks for listening. I know you're right."

He patted her head, his mind turning. "God hasn't healed the pain, huh?"

Lifting her head, she met his gaze. "It's my fault. I've prayed, but instead of trusting God I overthink everything."

"Sounds normal to me. God doesn't help if you worry?"

"He wants us to trust Him. Worry is not trusting God to take care of you."

Josh let that sink in a moment. Annie flipped the bandana over on Parker's brow.

He should ask her. If she thought he was losing it, he'd accept that. He sure felt crazy. Maybe he and Parker had the same affliction. "Does God ever talk to you?" he blurted before he could stop himself.

An odd look turned her expression. "All the time."

"Seriously? What does he say?"

"Depends." Annie watched him thoughtfully. "Something on your mind, Josh?"

Leaning his elbows on his knees, he met her gaze. "I'm hearing things. It's like..." Inhaling a deep breath, he shook his head, trying to find the words to describe what he'd heard. "It's complicated."

"It's ok, Josh," she whispered, sounding like his mother.

"I don't know. Godly things, I guess. I know nothing about the Bible, but they seem like stuff God would say." He let out humorless laugh. "Maybe, I'm losing it."

"No, I don't think so." Annie gave his hand an affectionate squeeze. "You've been amazing."

The corner of his mouth twitched. "So have you."

"The voices... can you remember what they said?"

"Hmm." He tried to recall the words. "For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in body but made alive in the Spirit." When he turned to Annie she looked stunned.

"Peter 3:18."

"It's in the Bible?"

"Yes. What happened before you heard the voice?"

"I wondered why would a good God allow suffering, and Peter whatever comes to mind." A strange feeling washed over him. He tried to remember if he'd heard those words from the Bible before. Josh had never opened a Bible, been in a church, or even attended Vacation Bible School. "If any spiritual being spoke to me, I figured it would be the devil." He laughed, but Annie didn't seem amused. "Give me a break. Don't tell me you think the little red horned dude is real."