The Luna

Twenty

Once Emily showed me to the room, she left me to get settled and that was the last I had seen from her in I don't even really know how long. I had tried to nap for a bit, my body feeling beyond exhausted, but all I got was watching the fan twirl around a blank ceiling and tons of regrets nagging at me.

But I think everyone can say that they have their fair share of Should-have, Could-have, would-haves. I need to learn to put them behind me. I know that I can't change what's happened, I can only move forward from where I am.

But why is that always easier said than done?

I stand at the window watching the lives of the wolf people. They're everywhere, walking around, laughing. It's weird to even see wolves strolling on the grass towards the house from the trees. No one seems bothered by them and why would they be.

They all seem so happy, so free. No one is rushing to get here or there, staring at their phone screens or even looking mad. They smile at each other as they pass, taking time to say hello and even chat for a bit.

Kids play on the grass, running and laughing enjoying the weather before the snow starts to fall. I can't even remember if I had seen any kids at Caspian's pack - really aside from him and his parents the only ones I really saw were my guards and the kitchen staff.

An impatient knock on the door snaps me out of my reverie. Austin stands rigidly on the other side, a sandwich on a plate in his hands and a scowl on his face as he glares at me. Is it rude to hope that the sandwich is for me because I am starving? I had been kicking myself for not asking sooner for something to eat.

"If you wanted to starve yourself to death, you should have just stayed with the Lotus pricks," he snaps, thrusting the plate at me with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

I fumble with the suddenness of it, barely keeping the sandwich from falling to the ground. My eyes and mouth are wide as I try to collect myself, staring up at him in shock. What is he even talking about?

"Excuse me?"

"I'll spell it out slowly for you," he bends a little to be closer to my height, speaking to me like I'm a five-year-old, "A lot of people are sticking their necks out for you and they may not matter to you but they matter to me, so the least you could do is act grateful and not like some inconvenienced teenager throwing some hormonal tantrum," he turns and walks away so quickly that I barely have time to suck in the air that had been forced out of my lungs like a sucker punch to the gut.

Hormonal tantrum? How am I acting anything but grateful? I've been polite, bowed to the Alpha to show respect, I have been minding my manners since I got here? What more could I have done?

And why would he think I'm starving myself? I mean, I am starving but not purposefully! I am nowhere near strong enough to starve myself on purpose. I love food too much. I've been in my room waiting for someone to come get me. I wasn't sure if I should just go exploring on my own, with no guards or anything. I had thought Emily or maybe even Harper would come back and give me more direction but no one had. I was beginning to think that I had been forgotten about.

The sandwich begins to feel heavier in my hand, my hunger is all but forgotten now as I stare after where he disappeared down the hall.

"Mia? what're you doing standing in the hall with a sandwich?" Harper walks up from behind me, her brows pulled together before her face morphs into concern, "Honey, Hey, What happened? You okay?"

I don't fight her as she takes the plate from my hand, ushering me back into the room. Her hand rubbing soft circles on my shoulder blades as we go. I feel the lump rising in my throat and I'm trying really hard not to cry.