Discovering myself (18+)

54. In a tryst

My heart extends wildly pounding in my chest, out of control. I have dressed in a rush, but not this much.

I wasn't foreseeing facing him so soon. I'm not prepared for it. I haven't forgotten him yet, in fact, I haven't forgotten even a slight detail about him. He should have stayed in London.

I observe Andrew's tired features, nevertheless, he is so good in his grey sweatpants. His eyes are dark, owning dark circles under them, proving once again how exhausted he is. He holds his eyes on me while he is drinking his orange juice, resembling surprise as well for seeing me, perhaps he is at the same place as me and believes it is better to stay away.

"Charles left for work already", Andrew states after some minutes of staring silence.

"Oh", is all I reply, remaining still, while dealing with the fact he is back, in front of me, and I will have to find another way to get over him.

"Do you need something?" He asks when his eyes scan my body, bringing me back again, reminding me of the purpose that brought me here.

"I needed a ride, I guess I will take a taxi", I promptly respond.

"I can take you", he reacts and then studies his clock frowning, "where do you have to go?"

"To an interview, but it is quite far", I reply taking the piece of paper in my pocket with the address and giving it to him.

"That's why you are all dressed up", he states analyzing the paper, before moving from the kitchen and completing, "I'll be right back".

I inspect myself in the mirror, wondering if I'm overdressed after Andrew's remark but I guess he is just used to seeing me in jeans and shorts and now I'm dressed in formal clothes.

"When were you back?" I do small talk as we enter the elevator.

"Late last night", he responds, and I take it as the reason why he looks so tired, more than usual because he is always tired.

We enter his car and it takes only the doors closing for the atmosphere to be heavy, without revealing if it is caused by the sexual tension between us or the list of unspoken words or the wrong pronounced ones. But it is almost unbearable.

I restrain my movements to the minimum, slowly breathing when he starts driving being aware of each one of his movements, sensing he is conscious of mine. The last person I wanted to be with right now, yet I need his ride to make it to the interview.

I watch the city through the window, taking some deep breaths and all I breathe is him. He has clearly used his cheap shampoo again, providing me a small smile when I recognize its smell. Unaware of his aptness to transform my thoughts about him, only he takes my whole mind for a moment, and I'm not slightly ready to deal with him yet.

Before I remember why I'm here, catching this ride with him and I'm suddenly apprehensive again. Afraid I'll blow everything off.

"Why are you so nervous?" I feel his warm hand on my thigh when he asks me, so naturally, as it was led by his instinct, but only for a second, as he believed it would tranquilize me, however, it just makes my heart shoots and my breathing gets heavier. And as his hand came it has left, as faster, still the second he kept it was enough to have a reaction from me.

How does he do it? That's exactly what I was thinking about, I can't deal with him, I should be away from him. But again, here I am.

"The interview", I respond, kind of expecting he will drop the subject, but he never does what I expect.

"Why are you nervous about it?"

"I don't know, being good enough?" I don't comprehend exactly why I'm so nervous about it. I simply do, but it is not merely it, it has something to do with him as well. Something I do not quite recognize yet.