027 | Mother

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"My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you. But for every real word spoken, for every attempt I had ever made to speak those truths for which I am still seeking, I had made contact with other women while we examined the words to fit a world in which we all believed, bridging our differences."

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KIM

(Please listen to the song above for better experience!)

I sit down on my bed and try to think of something else,it's almost 8 pm.Calm the fuck down Kim!

I decided to take a nap and 30 minutes later I got a phone call.I look at the screen,unknown number?!

"Hello?"

"Good evening,am I talking to Kim Torres?" I hear an unfamiliar voice.

"Yes,I am Kim Torres.What can I help you with?" I ask nicely and my palms are getting sweaty somehow.I don't know why but his voice gives me bad news.

"I am so sorry to say this but your mother had a heart attack and she is currently in the hospital. You were the only one who we could reach." I hear and at that moment he mentioned my mom my heart dropped.A tear dropped down on my cheeks and I tried to sound strong while talking to him but it didn't work.

"Oh my god,how- whe- is she taken care of?" I can't even talk properly.

"Please calm down,I know it's hard now.She is taken care of and I'll tell you everything.When can you come in?"

"I'm currently in Washington DC but I'll be there tomorrow." I tell him and thank him for the info.I end the call and drop my phone on the floor.

I have never felt this feeling before,I never imagined feeling it.It was like a part of me just got ripped out.I was always worried about my mother,that's why I was hesitating to leave Virginia,I fucking knew I should've stayed there!Also what did he mean by I was the only he could reach?Where was my father?

After crying myself out I started packing and without telling anyone what happened I started driving.It's already late but I don't want to waste any more time.

I feel guilty as fuck,I should've stayed there and never move here.I just messed up everything.I remember when I was little we always went to a small grocery shop which was like 3 minutes away from our house.The woman there couldn't have kids and she always told me if she could have a child, she/he would be just like me.

Caring,  warm-hearted,  thoughtful,  understanding

I am not any of those.

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