My Heart's in Alabama

29 - Matt

All throughout dinner, Drew does his regular routine of recounting what he learned in school that day in excruciating detail. Each subject gets about a 5 minute monologue, at the minimum, which includes direct quotes from his teacher, verifiable sources that confirm what he was taught and his own personal opinion on the topic. In that order. Every single time. For every single subject.
Usually I find it cute in an annoying little brother kind of way, but tonight, I don't have the energy to even pretend I'm listening. Without me as a buffer, my dad gets the brunt of it. He interjects every so often with a "uh-huh," "mmhmm," or "that's interesting."
As preoccupied as he is with Drew, that doesn't stop him from keeping his eyes on me. In between affirming statements to Drew, he scans the bruises on my arms trying to figure out where they came from. Uncomfortable with the extra attention, I shovel my food in and get started on the dishes. The quicker I get that done, the quicker I can go up to my room and be left alone.
I'm about a quarter of the way through when my dad pulls the sponge out of my hand.
"I'll get the rest."
"You sure?"
Doing the dishes after dinner is my job. A responsibility I was given that rarely gets an exception.
"You bet."
"Don't you have to give Marcie her bath?"
"Leave it," he says with a shrug. "I'll do it after."
I put the dish that was in my hand down with skepticism. My dad has a zero tolerance policy for dirty dishes left in the sink. Doesn't matter if it's 2 minutes or 2 days. No dirty dishes in the sink.
"Seriously," he says. "I got it. Go take a hot shower and get some rest."
I have my doubts, but his offer is too tempting to resist. I can already feel the warm water soaking into my skin and my head on my pillow. Right now, that's all I want. To wash the day away and sleep off the pain.

I crawl into bed just after 7:30. I know it's beyond lame to go to bed before 8:00, but I'm so tired and sore that I don't care. The comfort of my blanket around my shoulders lulls me to sleep and I feel at peace.
What seems like minutes later, I'm woken up by the annoyingly cheerful ringing of my phone. I lift my head in a daze. The bright white light from my phone screen illuminates the tiny space above my night stand, straining my eyes.                                                                       
"Yeah?" I say into my phone.
"Did I wake you up?"
Kiersten's sweet voice fills my ears and makes my heart flutter.
"No," I say even though I'm sure she can hear the grogginess in my voice. "What's up?"
"I can't sleep."
I pull myself up and look out my window. All her lights are off except the Care Bear night light she's had since she was a kid. I can just barely see her sitting on her floor next to it. Her tiny white socks poke out of the darkness.
"Mmm," I groan and roll on my back. "Want me to talk about my top draft picks?"
Kiersten laughs because we both know how bored out of her mind she gets when I ramble on about football. It would knock her out in no time.
"No," she says. "I kind of want to go to the lake."
I look at the clock. I have no idea how long I was out for. I was so far gone, it could have been minutes or hours.
"But I know you can't."
My breath catches in my throat. Her tone is suggestive, and what she's suggesting is enticing. It's late at night. Our parents are asleep. She wants to sneak out.
The hopeful promise of the night fights against the promise I made to my dad. The latter continues to haunt me and tugs at my conscience. I gave him my word. I told him I would do better. He's always tried to do better for me. Don't I owe it to him to do the same?
Yeah. I definitely do.
But...
It's Kiersten.
"No one has to know," I say.
"Yeah?"
I can't see her, but her mischievous smile is crystal clear in my mind. My imagination runs wild with possibilities, making my heart pound in my chest like a bass drum. In my mind, I can feel her fingertips tickle the back of my neck as her lips gently brush mine. The rush of our first kiss.
Logically, I know it'll be just another night. We'll sit on the dock. We'll talk. We'll go home as friends and nothing more. But the daydreams give me a high I don't ever want to come down from. Tomorrow, I'll face the heartbreak hangover of reality, but tonight I'm drinking it all in, getting drunk off my delusions.
"Let's do it."
"Okay," she agrees. "I'll meet you outside."
I jump out of bed and tip toe downstairs. When I get outside I look around for Kiersten but I don't see her at first. I look up to her bedroom window to see if maybe she's still in there. That's when I spot her climbing out her bathroom window. I rush over there to stop her because it's about a twenty foot drop and this Kiersten we're talking about. The girl can't even hop a fence.
"Kiersten," I whisper-scream.
She sees me but crawls out onto the roof anyway. She inches towards a nearby supporting beam and swings herself around it.
"Are you crazy?"
Kiersten turns to me and puts one finger to her mouth. She lets go of her grip and she starts to slide down the railing towards the ground. I get underneath her to stop her, but to my surprise, she manages it on her own.
"Whoa," I say before I have a chance to stop myself.
She shushes me again, then grabs my hand and pulls me away from her house so we don't get caught. Once we get far enough from the house she lets go of my hand and we start walking at a normal pace. It's kind of weird walking around town at this time of night. I've never been out this late before. The street lights illuminate the sidewalks and there's a certain chill in the air as the wind gently blows. As we walk through town, it's dead quiet. We walk right down the middle of the road. Not a single car drives through. Everyone is tucked away in their houses fast asleep.
When we get to the lake, everything seems to come alive again. The air fills with the sound of crickets and frogs. The water gently slaps against the rocks and fireflies blink in and out of the darkness. The moonlight reflects off the water and sinks into Kiersten's dark chocolate-brown hair. She's never looked more beautiful.
"I'll never get tired of this," she says, staring in wonderment at the stars.
"Yeah," I say. The way she runs her fingers through her hair puts me in a dreamlike state. The world melts away, leaving only me and her. "Me neither."
Kiersten breaks her gaze and turns to me. I look away so she can't tell it was her I was looking at this whole time.
"Can we stay out here forever?"
There's nothing I want more.
"Fine by me."
"Good," she says. "I wanna watch the sunrise."
Kiersten looks at me and smiles. I want so badly to put my arm around her and pull her close. Nothing would make me happier than to hold her tight as we watch the sky turn blue. But as much as I want her to be, I know she's not mine to hold.
The hours tick by, the two of us sitting in silence cherishing the beauty of the night. Bit by bit, the sun begins to creep over the horizon, bringing light to the darkness. As the sun rises, my heart sinks knowing our time together is coming to an end and the promise of the night was nothing but that. A promise.
"Well," Kiersten says once the sun has settled into the sky. "I better go before my dad gets up for work."
"Oh," I say and hop up, reality hitting me like a truck.
Kiersten's dad rolls out of bed five minutes before he has to leave for work, so she still has some leeway, but mine wakes up at 5 on the dot every morning without fail. The hour before us kids wake up is really the only time he gets to himself. By now he's probably had his coffee and read the newspaper.
"Yeah we gotta go," I say.
Kiersten and I rush back as fast as we can without actually running. Kiersten wraps herself around the beam and begins shimming up towards the bathroom window. I stand underneath and keep a watchful eye in case she falls. It's not the most graceful thing I've ever seen, but she makes it up okay. She crawls through the window and then waves goodbye right before she disappears out of sight.
I think about doing the same, but all my windows are shut and the side of my house is completely flat. I could try sneaking through the back door, but it's a fruitless effort. My dad's going to catch me no matter what. Might as well walk right through the front door, honestly.
I don't bother being subtle. I walk into the living room like I'm coming home from school. My dad isn't waiting on the other side with a paddle. He doesn't scold me immediately upon entry. He's not even looking at me. His back is turned to me with his phone glued to his ear.
I take another step forward, thinking maybe I can slink past him to my room, but the floor creaks, giving me away. He whips his head around and his eyes shoot wide open. He tears the phone away and fumbles to hang up.
"He's here, I gotta go," he says in one breath and shoves his phone in his pocket.
He's acting so jumpy and weird, it's like I caught him red-handed. What he's guilty of, I have no idea. But hey, I'll take the opportunity to deflect the attention off me.
"Who was that?"
"No one," he says, quickly batting away my question and serving the ball back to me. "Where have you been? We were worried sick about you."
He hits the ball hard. It almost flies past me, but he doesn't give it quite enough spin.
"We?"
His mouth hangs open and he stutter-steps to regain his footing. My question hits the top of his racket and lobs over the net. An easy ace.
"Yeah. Me and the kids."
"Aren't they all asleep? Did they even know I was gone?"
"That's not the point," he says sternly, catching the ball and dropping it on the ground. He's had enough of my deflections. "Where were you?"
I hang my head. The game's over. I lost.
"At the lake."
"Were you with Kiersten?"
"Dad..."
"Were you?"
"Yes," I say weakly.
"Dammit, Matty," my dad lets out a heavy sigh.
He falls onto the couch and holds his head in hands. His emotions turn inward, manifesting themselves in blame and self-doubt.
"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," he says, shaking his head. "Please tell me what I'm doing wrong."
The pain and desperation in his voice catches me off-guard. I don't want him to blame himself for this. For me.
Seeing him so defeated, I know it's time to talk.
"No-nothing..." I sputter. "It's me. I - I had a bad day at practice. Hayden and the guys were beating up on me. I wanted to make myself feel better, so I snuck out with Kiersten. I know it was wrong, but I - I needed to see her."
He lifts his head and looks me dead in the eyes.
"Hayden gave you those bruises?"
Gently, I nod, afraid of what he might say. He clenches his fist, the anger returning. This time, it's not directed at me.
"He's not playing Friday."
My hopes rise. We only have one other running back. Me. If Hayden's not playing that means...
"Don't get it twisted, though. You're still grounded," he says, putting me right back in my place.
"Yes, sir."
I give him an obedient nod and keep my face stoic and sullen. But as soon as he leaves the room, I smile.