Apathy

32| Court

A S T R A E A

Monday

Today was Monday. Usually, I would hate Mondays because that was the first day of the week after a long relaxing weekend. It was the first day of school or the first day of work.

But today, this Monday I hate it because it is the day we have to go to court, the day of the trial. The day where my brothers and I would have to face the woman who abused us after years of not seeing her.

I didn't know what to feel. I was nervous maybe scared. I was worried about my twins. How will it feel to see one of the monsters that destroyed our childhood again? I am terrified. What if I cry? Or what if I flinch? What if I have a panic attack? What if she hit me again? What if she gets in my head with her hurtful and spiteful words?

There were too many ways this could turn out into. I ran every single scenario in my head and some of them made me even more anxious and fearful than I already was.

I was ashamed and disappointed in myself. After all of those years, I was still letting this horrible witch affect me. She controls me still. And that's fucking pathetic.

Yes, I was officially a certified lawyer and I was damn good at my job but I knew that I could not bring justice to myself and my brothers nor could I lock that bitch up in a cell.

Seeing one of the people that ruined me after years will undoubtedly make me vulnerable. And as a lawyer who wants to do her job correctly, I couldn't afford to be susceptible. So I knew that it would be better to allow one of my father's most trusted and talented lawyers to take over the case.

Me being me and having the trust issues that I possess, I had a meeting with the lawyer my dad hired and discussed the details. I just wanted to make sure that we would inevitably win the case. Because even though Audrey will end up in our torture room once this whole thing is done, it wasn't safe to have her out of prison. And I can't be untruthful, the sadist part of me loves that she will be locked up in a cell like the cagna she is, deserves. I knew for a fact that prison cell was anything but pleasant and that just fuelled my satisfaction.

I buttoned the black, formal yet stylish suit my mother had bought me yesterday from her company. I have to admit that this outfit suited me well, it made me look fatal, sexy, and crucial.

I got out of my room after I sprayed a bit of my Coco Chanel perfume, the sound of my heels echoing in the empty hallways. I met the others in the living room. Only my parents, Ma, Pa, my twins, Elias, Ezekiel, Alejandro, and Antonio were accompanying us since the others had to be either at school or work. I wasn't complaining, I was already overwhelmed and unable to get my shit together, having the rest of my family members hovering over me would have made me even more stressed.

"I'm ready" I simply announced

They nod and got up knowing that I didn't want to talk right now, as much as they tried to talk to me today, I just wasn't in the mood to have a conversation with anyone.

Nico had previously called me wanting to check in on me, he had proposed to come along hundreds of times but I always turned down his suggestions not wanting to bother him or burn him. He had a lot on his plate right now, he just took over the American Mafia after his father a few months ago. I didn't want to distract him or preoccupy him when I was completely and utterly fine. 

I am good.

I am alright.

I am fine.

The car came to a stop and I knew that we had arrived at court. My hands became sweat as I continued to fidget, my heartbeat was racing, I felt the familiar lump form in the pit of my throat, I gulp trying to keep my anxiety under control.