Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

53. Shock treatment

It was a relief when Florian called me an hour later and asked me to come and meet him and Nicola at Cupid's Den. At first, I thought it would just be uncomfortable to be around people in the state I was in, but when Florian threatened to come to my place instead, I agreed. Thoughts of the meeting with Simon had been swirling around in my head and it was impossible for me to sort them out, what I was feeling or not feeling. As usual, I couldn't turn my brain off either.

I had made a fool of myself, that much I was sure of. Simon probably thought I was a bloody hypocrite, one minute getting angry that Ash had sent him to me and the next making insinuating comments. That hadn't been my intention. At the same time, I didn't know why I had said it. What did I really feel for Simon? Did I even want to ask myself that question? I couldn't have said that, thought that way about his suggestion of distraction, if there wasn't something there. Or I could have, just because I was too exhausted to think straight.

Florian was sitting with Nicola when I arrived at their table at the club. It was only on the bus into town that I even reflected on how Florian had found out about what had happened, but I suspected that word travelled fast. Maybe it was even that bastard Keith who was the source of the rumor, but I just didn't have the energy to care anymore. It didn't take ten seconds before there was a glass in front of me on the table. But to my surprise, it wasn't a colored shot or umbrella drink, as Florian used to offer. When I looked at him questioningly, he just pushed the glass closer to me.

"Sometimes you need heavier stuff than pear schnapps," he said. "Whiskey. Drink up. Then we'll talk."

Without protest, I gulped everything down. It burned all the way to my stomach and reminded me that I had barely eaten anything in a day. Somewhere I knew I should eat something so I wouldn't get drunk within ten minutes, but just the thought of food made me nauseous.

"He thinks we should break up and sent Simon to my place to... keep me company, and you can imagine what he means by that, he thinks I should move on and not be held back by him being where he is," I said in a single exhale as I put the glass back down on the table.

Florian just looked at me at first. Then both he and Nicola burst out laughing. I was almost pissed off. Did they think this was something to laugh about? Florian seemed to have seen my reaction and rolled his eyes.

"That, you see Jamie, is Ash in a nutshell," he smiled.

"What the hell do you mean?" I hissed, unable to stop myself. "He's not himself at all."

"That goes back to what I said to you about him not having the guts to go for it before. That he hasn't wanted to commit to anyone because he's afraid. Now he has anyway, and this happens. Then he thinks it's best to let go, fast as fuck. But in this case, he thinks he's doing you a favor, because he's let you down."

I groaned in frustration.

"He's not doing me a fucking favor," I muttered. "And Simon visiting earlier only made it worse."

And as if his name was somehow magical, I suddenly saw Simon standing at the bar, accepting a beer and then walking towards our table. What was he doing here? Was he stalking me? Was this something Ash had told him to do? But then I stopped myself. Simon was actually allowed to go out as much as I was. But still, I couldn't help feeling a little panicky. I had no desire to talk to him now. To my great relief, Florian came to my rescue.

"Simon, you know I love you," Florian said with a grand gesture as Simon started to sit down at our table. "But tonight, I want Jamie all to myself, actually. I'm sure you understand."

At first Simon looked surprised, but then nodded and made his way through the crowd. I looked gratefully at Florian, who smiled crookedly at me. Then he looked briefly at Nicola.