Everything Wrong With Nostalgia Critic Vol. 1

EWWNC: Spider-Man (2002)

Everything Wrong with Nostalgia Critic on Spider-Man (2002)

Intro:

1.
0:10 What a great start to this chapter, so we are already starting with a SKIP!

2.
0:49 And just like most of the skits and every Spider-Month intro, we are now ignoring every scene that involves Malcolm and Tamara.

3.
2:10 Seeing that this is a NC video, no.

4.
3:19 The Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies are for both family and teen viewers, hence why these films, including the first one, are youth friendly.

5.
3:28 - 3:45 Now, remember what Doug said there, cos this movie easily contradicts what he had just said. Anyway, the first Spider-Man movie wasn't kid focused. It captures both the dark tone and the dialogue from the comic books. Granted, the dialogue in this movie is pretty ridiculous, but so is the dialogue in Darkman and the Evil Dead movies, cos it's Sam Raimi.

6.
5:41 And just after mocking the animated introduction, you'd think you'd get cool points for bringing up a meme that us kids would enjoy. Well... nice try. You'll only get BS points.

7.
5:47 Now, here's the problem that we have in modern NC videos, Doug tries his best to manipulate his viewers by cutting off half of the narration and trying to make it a detraction from the story. Here's the rest of the line: "If somebody told you it was a happy little tale, if somebody told you I was just your average guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied."

8.
6:18 Well, we can establish that Doug was *That* student.

9.
6:22 The teacher was "creepy", cos he was talking quietly to his students during a science field trip? Dude, they're in a lab where scientists don't need obnoxious-ass students causing any trouble or distractions.

10.
6:45 Poorly critiquing Willem Defoe's performance.

11.
7:05 They're experimented spiders. It's not like those scientists are planning to set them back in the wild after giving them a dumb name. "Genetically Enhanced Super Spider" is a better term for those creepy fuckers.

12.
7:36 "Just nice" isn't what I'd describe Mary Jane in this movie. I'd describe her as a young girl who tries to be upbeat and kind with the people who treat her nicely, especially Peter. Despite that, Mary Jane gets into awkward situations after being shouted at by her own father or when an argument breaks out that involves her. And that's why in some scenes, she would seem unsure what else to say.

13.
9:06 You're missing the point of that scene, which foreshadows what Norman Osborn would become later on. Also, I'd imagine the rodent trial went down like this.

14.
10:23 Despite him being one until the age of 30, Doug doesn't understand shit about virgins.

15.
11:07 This is the worst fucking edit I've ever seen in my life.

16.
11:48 Ok, are you saying that just because both Spider-Man 1 and The Two Towers came out from the same year, you're stating that this movie should have CGI that is as impressive as a Lord of The Rings film? Doug, that shit doesn't work like that. They both have different distributions, dumbass.